I'm stuck in such a strange limbo these days… With my college graduation in three short weeks, a full summer of working and final classes and then departure, my life feels somewhat like a ticking time bomb. With so many endings and beginnings happening at once, it's been so easy to get caught up in only looking ahead… crossing off the days on my calendar until the month of September finally arrives, wondering about support raising and if I'll ever find the perfect backpack or tent. In a sense, I've been wishing my days away… Thinking "if only" I was done with school, "if only" I wasn't so busy with work or "if only" it was September. I'm not quite sure when I started becoming so unsatisfied with reality, when the dreams of my future looked better than the gift of life God has given me now, but it's time for a change. There's a lot of life that will happen between now and September, and I don't want to miss out on a single day.
So while I'll continue to prepare for my trip, continue to pray for the people on my team, the people we'll encounter and that God will continue to provide financially, the Race isn't my life right. Right now my life is school, and I want to soak up every last ounce of Michigan State that I can. I want to drink in every ray of sunshine on my walks to class. I want to run at midnight through East Lansing with Hannah, talking about God and our lives and the gift of our friendship. I want to ride my grandma bike all over campus until the tires go flat. (Oh wait… They already are.) I want to enjoy rushed drives to class with Justin and talk about photography and projects and our views on this and that. I want to go to Menna's and laugh until I cry. I want to chase bugs around the apartment and do British workout videos in the living room. I want to get coffee with Christi and remember the gift that it is to work at the newspaper that I do. I want Jill to come and sleep in my bed and I want to appreciate the diversity that I live in right now, with the world literally set before me at this university. Because this is where I am, this is where God has me… And for such a short and precious time.
The Lord has been reminding me to find the beauty of every moment, to seek His purpose in the monotony of everyday life and to not wish away my days for the dreams in my head instead of living the life He has set before me right now. Because it is an opportunity and a gift. And while I know the Race will be great, beyond my realm of comprehension, God is offering the gift of today… And I want to experience the joy of this season, no matter how exciting the future looks.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Ecclesiastes 3:1
