I mentioned at the end of my blog yesterday that I found myself praying for soap for the food pantry at work last week. It felt so strange, this moment of 'praying without ceasing,' a natural conversation with the Lord about genuine needs for other people. Since starting at the Rescue Mission I've found myself doing more and more of this… Talking with God about every day things, asking Him hard questions I'd normally try to answer myself, and being brutally honest about what I'm thinking and feeling and where I'm at it.
It started when I first experienced the food pantry at work and when I saw the freezers and fridges (kind of) full of donated food in the kitchens of the Rescue Mission. I remember feeling overwhelmed and so thankful for the kindness of those who provide for others, who keep what they need and nothing more. I remember seeing God in all of this so plainly, yet so powerful, knowing full well it is Him who lays it on the hearts of those who give, whether they recognize it or not. It was then that I felt my faith start to grow and the walls of the box that I've built around God slowly crumble. The Mission is run solely on donations… Yes, they do fundraisers, but the mere existence of a place that serves hundreds of people rests solely in the hands of God. And I began to wonder why I find the hands of God such a scary place to be and why peace in such a protected and perfect place in so hard to come by in my warped and confused mind….
You see, the food pantry has been getting lower and lower in both food stock and toiletry items, while the number of those needing assistance seems to be growing as the summer goes on. Yesterday we decided to 'call out' to the community and let them know the needs that we have right now, so I put together a carefully worded message on Facebook, asking our friends if they'd ask God how they could help us get through this time of need… And then I prayed. And I didn't worry. I just prayed. And this morning, driving to work, I prayed some more. And this peace that I felt, this confidence of the provision of God, was so evident. I got to work and e-mailed our community ministries coordinator asking if anyone had donated after seeing the post… "A couple came in yesterday afternoon," she said. "A 'Thank You' would be appropriate." I was grateful, feeling blessed that even a few people were touched enough to help us out. She called me later, excitement in her voice saying, "You should probably come over here with your camera right now… You're going to want a photo of this food pantry!" So I ran over to the Men's Shelter, camera in hand and a dancing heart, excited to see what was there…
Apparently she didn't see all of the donations coming in, because let me tell you, God brought the soap. And he brought the cereal, the macaroni and cheese, the toothpaste, the pasta, the pasta sauce, the shampoo and conditioner, the beans, the oatmeal, and did I mention soap?! Lots and lots of soap! =) God is so, so good. In 24 hours, He worked for the good of those who love Him. And again, those walls came tumbling down a little more, brick by brick, piece by piece and my expectations of God's power continued to grow.
I was reminded today of God's love for His children, of His ability and desire to provide for us. I have these safe expectations of God, a timid hope grown from worry that He will provide, rather than hope rooted in the truth of God's character and word. When I think of raising support right now and the hundreds of dollars worth of gear that I have yet to buy, I want to worry and fret and stress about how everything will work out. But when I think of the Food Pantry, of the Mission supported by God's grace, I'm reminded that it's HIS strength that I must walk in and HIS armor that I must put on, because in Him, all things are possible.
