I have been in Africa for a week. I have been travelling for around five months. I can honestly say God has transformed me. I am afraid to go home in five months because of seeing my family. I wonder if they will truly understand me and I wonder how I will relate to them.
This blog is personal to me, but I feel like I need to share it. I am writing about God’s transforming power in my life. I grew up in a very reformed church. I never heard about people speaking in tongues, prophesying, praying for healing, or any of the spiritual side. The World Race is about all of these. I am learning so much about the spiritual realm and listening to what God is telling me. I hope I can explain it.
The day we left the Philippines, I had no idea what God would do to me in China. I was naïve and struggling with a personal issue. I know that I was even mean to some of my squad members because I did not understand God’s voice. I was just starting to hear God’s voice and learning how to sit and wait for Him to speak. The day we left Hong Kong for China, I changed forever. I learned that if you just pray in situations. God will provide and show You where to go. The learning did not stop there. God gave me joy and let me get over things that I struggled with. I left China knowing I was changing and it would continue.
The whole race, my squad has heard of Gary Black. I was intimidated to meet him but excited. I knew as soon as I stepped into Africa that I would leave in three months a changed person. The last week, I have not spent any time in ministry. I have wanted, but I have felt God tell me, just spend time with me, understand me. I have followed what He has told me.
Following God is not easy. I would not be on the World Race if I had not followed God. The other night God tested me in this. Gary Black was praying for people to be opened up in the spirit. I will admit that I was standing there in complete wonder, trying to understand what was happening. I was praying and just listening to what others said. All of a sudden Crystal became overwhelmed by the spirit of God. Gary told Crystal she needed to pray for people. He asked anyone that wanted prayer to come up. I felt God saying ‘Go Jackie, you need this,’ but I was saying ‘no way’. I have been to churches to alter calls and have never gone up. Crystal continued to pray as my team put away the chairs. I sat in my chair feeling I needed to go over. I did not want to go. My chair was finally taken to be stacked and so I went and sat on the floor. I was looking at Crystal praying and knowing that I needed to go over. I finally got up and stood near her, watching her pray. I decided to sit on the floor next to the person being prayed for and Jen snatched my hand. I was stuck at this point. Crystal did pray for me and it was definitely God praying through her. The prayer has given me confidence I never had. I know God at a level I never knew him because I obeyed.
This next month, I am taking a time of solitude. I need and want to know God more. I want God to be my husband until the time I end up marrying. I want God to be the number one person in my life and I want to rely on him for everything. I know now that God is personal. He gave me the best birthday gift ever. The words Crystal spoke to me happened on my birthday and it was total encouragement about things I had been doubting. Thank you God. I pray that this month of solitude will change me more and more into His image.
