Why I Decided to Go on the World Race
"The Answer for our culture today is not a faith that is 'neatly bound' but one that is rough and holy, a gospel that is 'on the streets'. "
– Mark Ruffalo, Actor, Director, Christ-follower
Whether you know it or not, God is actively at work today. In our lives, and in the lives of people all over the world. I wanted to share with you how He's been working in my life in the last few months that led me in a decision to go on the World Race.
Two months ago, I found myself on a mini vacation to New York City. I had been living in San Francisco and working the cushiony role of a Marketing Manager for a renewable energy company. Life has been good until this time, I was making decent money, traveling internationally for work, serving my church on sundays and co-leading a women's connect group during the week. The only thing that seemed to be missing was a God-loving man by my side. But beside those visible measures of a comfortable Christian life, I was desiring something much deeper, a God given purpose for my life and a significant convergence in my job, this my current job did not offer.
Actor Mark Ruffalo and I at Windrider Film Festival at Fuller Theologoical Seminary
Being in New York was a much needed break for my body and my mind. One day, I went to the famous Highline Park, an old converted railroad track-turned-viewing-deck for the City's skylines. While taking in the glorious views of the City and breathing in the fresh air around me, a word popped up in my head that I could not ignore. Freedom.
For the next few days, the same word kept popping up in my head as I left my footprints over the various New York landmarks. The feeling was so overpowering. I felt God wanted me to desire freedom, and at that moment where I was standing, all alone in the middle of a bustling city center I felt truly set free, living exactly as God had made me- to enjoy life, to explore and discover His beauty.
Yet the thought of going back to work at my corporate 9 to 5 put a gloom in my heart that was beyond the usual post vacation dread. I didn't understand what I was desiring, but prayed a sincere prayer for God's sovereignty and goodness to go ahead of me.
"The former things have taken place the new things I declare. before they spring into being I announce them to you." Isaiah 42:9
The morning I returned to my job after my vacation, I got a call from my supervisor to come in to her office. "Close the door." She said. She proceeded to tell me that my position had been eliminated due to higher up financial decisions that had nothing to do with my performance.
She asked how I felt upon hearing the news: "Fine." I answered in a calm and collected manner. Yes I was shocked, not from sheer disappointment, but from sheer joy that this was actually happening. Didn't God put this desire in me for months now, didn't God go ahead of me and allow me to dream of this moment in time? God takes a long time to move fast.
The next week I processed the layoff and basked in dreaming of what is to come. But what I never prepared for was the greatest trial of this season, choosing what I thought God may want for me versus what my flesh desired – a crush on a guy. One night after hanging out with him and having it go nowhere, I went home disappointed, that's when I heard God say to me: "Jackie, it's not time for you to be with this guy. I want you to love me with all your heart, and know that I am securely your first love."
"God, are you serious? What kind of timing do you have? Why is it you do not let me have what I want?' I cried out tearfully. My words to Him were raw but not ill-intentioned. I knew as a Father, God didn't expect any less than realness from me, His daughter. Angry, hurt, sad, fearful, lonely. He wanted me to give it all to Him. I safely unleashed my emotions and wrestled with God.
The next week or two, I begin working with my mentor Cindy on seeking my purpose in life with earnesty. I was able to examine my heart and hear confirmation that my purpose is to Explore, Discover and Inspire Beauty. That's when I "stumbled" upon a site called www.theworldrace.org, same one I saw at Urbana three-years prior. Like some of you now, I frantically searched for info on the website and read blog after blogs of stories of hope around the world. There in my office in San Leandro, California, this blog entry from a hostel manager in Malawi made me cry like a baby, and made me want to give up everything to be used by God to change the life of one young man in Africa.
I went on a fast to pray and hear from God to confirm my purpose and specifically ask him whether I should go on missions right now with the World Race. The answer came clearly through listening prayer and dialogue with God the Father. To my surprise, God not only showed up when I called out to Him, but He was also alot more gentle, direct, and humorous than I could'v ever imagined. He told me this:
"Jackie, I created you to be playful and I enjoy seeing you play and explore about."
" Your mission now is to see the world and see the world reflecting my glory."
"Go on my behalf for the nations, to preach the good news to those that need it, the hopeless."
"Come away with me. I will show you the world. YOU will show beauty to the world and reflect my glory."
So here I am now, communicating this windy and quick turn of events with my family and friends, preparing to go on training camp in Georgia, then come back and move out of my apartment, to sell my furniture, and get ready in all fronts to go off in September on a treasure hunt with God to see some of the most disolate places in the world.
I will be leaving for Guatemala, the first country in the 11-months mission in September 2012, and I will be needing YOUR prayer and financial support for this otherwise impossible feat.
Now It's Your Turn to Respond
Will you partner with me by praying for me and giving financially for my World Race?
To see a list of the countries and details of my Race, go here.
