Alone, I am sitting outside the door at this moment, at our two story house in Changlun, Malaysia, our home for Month 6 of the race.
I had just finished flipping through the last page of the book, " The Road of Lost Innocence", the true story of a Cambodian Heroine, and I now sit in silence, crying from the riveting account of a woman who was sold in to prostitution at age 12. It's the kind of story that makes you out of breath, gasping for air because it's cold brutal details hits you in the lungs with no apologies. But then again life is way too short for gentle reads.
5 days ago, on February 10th, I had a birthday. Like any other birthday, I turned a year older, but unlike the other birthdays, I heard God tell me to give this birthday completely to Him, so I did.
Days before, Shiloh and Shekinah teammates had began asking me what I wanted to do for my birthday. Having had planned so many of my own birthdays, managed guest lists and rsvp's, and been disappointed by flaky friends or failed expectations, I was hesitant to answer. I mean, what can you plan when you don't know anything about the town you'll be in or where anything is? Luckily, I didn't have to worry. The day before my birthday, I heard God say:
"Don't plan anything. Give this day to me."
As soon as I heard His directions, I felt the pressure leave my side and thus I started my birthday morning on the roof of the Penang YWAM base that overlooked the City, greeting the day with a praise and worship session.
As Johnny strummed the guitar, I thanked God for creating me, for every year I've been living on this earth, for being on the race this year, for the new and beautiful work He's begun in me. As I did, God gave me a word: "Remember" so I begin remembring all the good things and subtle and powerful ways He orchestrated my life.
"Your life has NO MISTAKES." He says to me, through our ministry contact Thomas as he prayed for me before my birthday.
I shared with the group on the rooftop, of a visions God gave me once at Global Celebrations at Jubilee Church in San Jose. I was holding out my hands in worship that night, and the way the lights casted shadows of my fingers, it made my ten fingers look like I had hundreds of fingers. That's when I felt God saying to me: "Man adds and subtracts, and it is only Me, that does the multiplication. Do what you can with your two hands, and watch me multiply your efforts to a grandeur and scale that's beyond your imagination." So my only wish for my birthday is to ATL (ASK the Lord) and wouldn't it be great if someone came to Christ at the end of the day – on my birthday.
With that wish, a few of us prayed big prayers for God to give us a set of instructions for the day. God promptly answered with a list of things that we corporately wrote down and set out for the day. At the end of the day, we came back and compared notes, and these are some things He had us do:
- Prayer walked around town and at the ancestor temples
- Prayed for a man across the street with a leg injury, fetched for walking cane for him and gave him a Bible
- Befriended a German guy named Ulf and prayed for his parents back home and for his brother who's a missionary in Malawi for Operation Mobilization
- Loved on our own teammates Meg and Cheyanne who were both sick/injuried
- Visited YWAM leader's house and got encouraging words from missionaries
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Got goodie bags for Travis and Nate, our squad leaders
- Allyson and friends got to visit our squadmates Christin and Moriah in the hospital
At the end of the night, I caught myself wanting more awesome and measurable results. I didn't get to share the gospel openly with anyone, no one accepted the Lord on this day as I had prayed. I didn't even get to hangout with my entired team because of the sickness and injuries and different schedules, and I let a few weary travelers pass me by without obeying God's nudge to talk to them. Regrets? Maybe one or two.
Then, God reminded me that He is all sovereign and He is all good, that all glory goes to Him alone and not to myself. He reminded me the following:
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Wasn't He the one that asked me to give away my entired day to Him and watch Him work?
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Wasn't He the one that led me to Penang House of Prayer the night before, and giving me an encounter with Hannah, a passionate Chinese Christian who's just a year younger that me, to encourage me and give me a birthday present and Red Envelope?
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Wasn't He the one who led me to a huge Chinese New Year Celebration the eve of my birthday and see the whole sky lit up with fireworks and an incredible Lion Dance show, just for me?
- Wasn't He the one who had friends research cakes for my birthday and come up on the most swanky dessert house called China House to take me at the end of the night?
Father, you really are the best orchestrator of birthday plans, and You give the best birthday surprises- a 5 day celebration in an old antique town of Penang, which I had fallen in love with, being a lover of art and all things old.
Father, I trust that the day went according to your plans. I trust that you have the results you wanted and I merely opened my hands, whatever happens, I trust that you will multiply my efforts and whether or not I get to see the fruits, all glory goes to you alone.
So, as I sit here now, I'm a year older and just half way done with my race. I am wiser because of the God experiences He's having me go through. I am humbled as I still have a ways to go. I give up all my control and expectations. I give up all my plans so He can continue to surprise me with His plans.
Today, I stand here, I am not the same person I was on my last birthday.
I am young yet. The best is yet to come.
Chinahouse, a beautiful "East-meets-West" style restaurant and music/art venue where friends and I celebrated my birthday with exotic cakes on the night of February 10th. Real pictures to come.
Happy Chinese New Year! Thank you for all the birthday wishes, for your prayers & friendship!!!
