Last Sunday, three friends and I made an 8 hour round trip drive to attend worship at Bethel church in Redding, California, where the campus is known for its anointed atmosphere of worship, healing, and revival, and where the beloved Jesus Culture resides.
Why did we drive that long in one day just to go, and what's my expectation from this trip to Bethel? Oh nothing BIG, just for God to instantaneously heal my broken ankle.
Did God do it? Well, I didn't receive any instantaneous healing for my ankle. In fact, I walked around in my crutches and my pink cast was seen all over Bethel, where numerous people stopped upon the sight of me, and bent down to lay hands on my cast and say a word of healing prayer. I even met a lady named Dardi who left her own set of crutches behind just the day before she met me, when her broken foot was instantly healed while they prayed for her in the sanctuary, she and her family prayed for me inside an In N Out restaurant. The most touching scene was when an adorable 5 year old blonde boy stopped in front of me to pray for me, with the aid of his dad by his side when he stumbled a little over his prayer.
Here, everyone believes that Jesus still heals. Do you?
And me, I do believe in a God that still heals everything from broken bones to cancers to raising the dead, even today. I have been reading many other's healing stories in the last few weeks, like Stephen's, Bekah's, Alex's, and Candace's. But perhaps there are still questions and roadblocks in my own heart for healing as I await for the visual sign that allows me to believe for my own.
I was more than slightly disappointed that no obvious healing of my ankle happened right in front of my eyes at Bethel. The first prayer I got after fighting through the line of people and crutching around to the front of the auditorium (a task that had me all sweaty and out of breath), was from a young looking girl who was more impressed by the fact "I'm from San Francisco" than her focus on my ankle, so I immediately judged her. And when she did pray for me, I couldn't hear a word she said because I was standing and leaning on my crutches and she was softly whispering as she bent down with her hands on my ankle. I was annoyed that she prayed softly. Really Jackie?
Yes, I felt a surge of anger come up quickly and let my friends know it when we drove away for lunch. Why do I feel this annoyance that I couldn't hear her prayer? Is her prayer any less valuable and powerful just because I couldn't hear it? I feel like all my pent up frustrations came up and poor prayer girl was getting the most of it. God, please help me with my attitude and entitlement.
To shed my attitude and shrug off my entitlement, I spent the afternoon in Bethel's serene prayer chapel next to the water fountain, with my hand holding a smooth pebble and my ears perking up to the sound of the water flow, I had a little heart to heart with Him:
"Lord, I come before you.
I ask you to examine my heart, and if you find anything offensive, sinful or impure within it, will you please let me know? Will you please purify it, change my heart Lord, make me pure, make my meek, make my obedient.
I call out Jehovah Jireh (provider), I call out Jehovah Rapha (healer).
I believe by your stripes I am healed. In Christ Jesus' name. It's not because of anything I've done, I'm doing or what I can do, but purely because of your goodness and your power, to show off your glory, to perfect your timing.
I believe. I continue to believe.
I cast out any doubt in the name of Jesus. Abba, you give good gifts and I am desperate. You said those who put their trust in you will not be put to shame (Romans 10:11).
So I ask you to strenthen my hope in you Jesus, my faith may be increased, that I do not need to believe through sight but though the unseen."
And this is what I heard from Him (thank you Jesus for responding):
Rest in me child.
You do not need to strive or earn my healing. In due time, keep asking for my favor.
Do not cease in the asking. In the asking you will receive.
A verse He gave me:
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord, in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the lord." Psalm 27:13-14
Watch a video of a boy in SE Asia healed simply from children's prayers:
