I'm in love. Can i just shout it out for the whole world to hear? Yes I am… and here's the story of how i got here.
Have you ever been in a marriage or relationship for a while and it starts to get stale? You suddenly feel trapped and as the days go by that empty void starts to consume you and you want out. Right away.
You don't even remember how you got in the relationship in the first place and you have long forgotten what it's like to have the warm fuzzies. You daydream about getting out constantly, and start to think about what it feels like to be with someone else, someone more fun, more exciting, edgier, more hip, more "dangerous", more spontaneous, more of a fit for you.
You not only daydream, but you start looking around online at dating sites, keeping your eyes open at work and when you're out and about, seeing who's out there and who'd appreciate you more and who's more charming and attractive and seem to fit the bill more than the one beside you, the one walking with you for all these years. You entertain these thoughts day and night and daydream of a better love.
All the while, the one beside you keeps on loving you. He never falters but loves unconditionally. He keeps taking care of you as if you are still true to him. He keeps it up day in and day out even as you have already mentally checked out.
One day, you come home from work and as you unwind you start looking around with a fresh set of eyes.
You walk around the house and begin to see and recall the neatly run household. The toilets are fixed, the meals cooked, the laundry done, the kids were dropped off to school. You open your eyes even wider as you find new love notes your spouse has written you, stacked on top of the old notes he's penned over the years. As you look through the new notes and read through the old ones, his heartfelt words jumping off the pages and speaking to your heart as if you had read it for the first time, your eyes brimming with tears, tears you haven't had in a long time.
You now recall even your friends have always said how much your spouse loves you but you never believed them or heard them… and those words are ringing back now. And the moment of realization hits.
It is you he's chosen. He's loved you all along.
But you're the one that has changed and has been blinded of his love. And today, his love begins to unfold in your eyes once more. The things you've neglected to see for a long time you are seeing now. He's loved you from the first time he's met you, he's love has never changed for you. In fact, his love increases the more he sees how flawed you are. He loves your flaws as much as your "perfections". He's the only one that loves without asking anything in return. He's the only one that loves you for who you are.
Upon realizing his love. You are overwhelmed by it all. You are taken by the intricacies of his character and his sweet words and actions toward you. You're dumbfounded by the gentleman that he is. He's never forced your hand. He waits for you to come to him. And now that you're here he welcomes you with a beautiful embrace as if you've never left.
His name is Jesus. He is my God and personal savior. He has written numerous love notes and poems to me that I've neglected to see and read and appreciate.
He orchestrated the big and small "accidents" and "happenstances" in my life so that I can meet him and encounter him. But I was always too busy doing things for myself.
He just wanted to tell me that he adores me. But i was busy looking for love in all the wrong places.
He is my creator. He created me just the way i am, I was created from his image. I am NOT too sensitive, and i'm not too much of a feeler. because he created me as a feeler full of mercy because he is a merciful God.
He knows me even while i was in the womb, he knows what will make me laugh and cry, he knows what inspires me and what annoys me, he loves to see me smile and he loves to look at me when I sleep or wake. I'm NOT too fat, too insecure, I'm just right and perfect in his eyes.
He wants me and wants all of me, he wants my complete and undivided attention. And now that he's got it I'm completely floored by him. So here i am… ready to fall head over heels in love with him all over again, the one who already loves me with all his heart, the one that's been waiting all along. I am ready to renounce my old ways, clean house, be restored back to the sacred romance I was called into with him.
This love compells me forward everyday and compells me to run this Race.
I love you jesus because you first loved me.
