FUNDING UPDATE!
Thanks to all my generous supporters, I have made it 5 months into this incredible opportunity. I have been able to serve in clinics, impoverished rural villages, the slums, and in a major sex trafficking hotspot. I have 6 more months to go, continuing to serve in Asia and Africa. However, I need $2600 in the next month (by July 1) to be fully funded and able to complete the Race! Please send me an email or click the 'Support Me' link on the left if you would like to help. Thanks again for all your love and support!
Life is too short to live at less than 100%.
It just is.
"What you do today is of immense importance because you are trading one day of your life for it."
I know we've all heard this; we've heard more time than we can count the concept of "live life all in", "live intentionally", etc… But do we actually live our days like this? Do we intentionally live every day, every hour, with our whole selves available and willing to give, and go, and do, and be, and move? Do we actually live our full lives?
Last month, I had to wake up to the stark reality that I had not been giving my all, my 100% for the first 3 months of the Race. Imagine that – this incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is only 11 months long, and I didn't give my all to 3 months of it. That is time I will never get back, never be able to redo. That was a hard thing to face.
One of the little ones wearing my sunglasses
Don't get me wrong – I wanted to give my all, and I was trying. It's not as if I slept through the first 3 months. But, when I really looked at it, was I going for every opportunity available to us, taking every chance to be bold and step out of my comfort zone, or push my body and mind to their furtherest extents through serving and loving others?
I realized I would put in until I was comfortable, push myself to around 80% of my capacity to give, pour out, or try.
And here's why: it's relatively easy to pour out that first 80%. But that last 20% is vulnerable. It's your real self. It's your heart, the part of yourself you protect most. And pouring that piece out will wound you in one way or another; it's inevitable. It's a lot easier to hold back that last 20% to protect yourself from pain, disappointment, heartbreak, and separation anxiety. That last 20% puts your own skin in the game.
But let me tell you, that last 20% really matters.
Last month in Costa Rica, I was able to feel and observe the difference between a half-committed work and going all in with everything I had. I put my whole self into pursuing God and doing the ministry in front of me last month. And it made me feel so alive and joyful every single hour or every single day. I truly believe it impacted me, those around me, the community, and the Kingdom exponentially more than my 80%-self could have dreamed of.
For me last month, that meant I really got to know and be part of a small church community in the slums of San Jose. God formed relationships with me and the kids, the teens, and the families in the barrio called Los Guidos. And I formed deep, serious connections that I will never forget (and many of which will continue – thank you Jesus for technology!). It was honestly difficult to leave; many tears were shed. God made me fall so hard for those people that I left part of my heart in Los Guidos.
Hanging with the girls in Los Guidos
But a broken heart is a small price to pay for those relationships. And if leaving slivers of my heart all over the world is what it means for me to experience to the full – to live all in – then I'm ok with that.
Diana and I – I really connected with this incredible lady
Jesus knew this. And it is what He did. He did life and ministry 100%, and He asked the same of His followers. He lived all in. And when He went to the cross to carry the burden of all of our failures and free us to have such abundant life, He went all in for that too.
Jesus Himself said He came so we could have life and have it to the full (John 10:10). That is is hope for us, what He came to save us for. He meant for us to live to the full, at 100%. We were meant to live risking ourselves and our hearts.
We were meant to live all in.
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Reflection:
It's easy to lament the loss of opportunities and time when I'm on a short 11-month stint around the world; I will never do this again and every day feels precious. But our "normal" lives at home are filled with days just as rare and precious, a finite number, days we can't get back. Are you aware of that every hour of every day? Are you living with the preciousness of each day in view?
Some questions to think about this week:
Are you living all in?
If not, what percentage are you living at?
Is the pain and risk of 100% worth it to you?
Do you actually want to live at 100% in? If so, what is holding you back?
