Milestones are so fun.
Milestones help us reflect. By using time to mark a memory, we build days and weeks into our calendars where we can remember and think back on how far we've come.
This week is the anniversary of a huge milestone for me.
A year ago, God spoke very clearly to me one night. He did something in me that night. He answered a long-suffered prayer; He began to fulfill a dream as old as me. He called me into working with international poverty. He anointed me for that work – it was an answered prayer from many frustrating nights and many years of dreaming.
This week, one year ago, I was in a fancy hotel in Dallas for a tradeshow with my corporate job. I was treated to amazing dinners from our suppliers and had wonderful views of the skyline at night. Today, I attended a funeral for a young man in a poverty-stricken town in Guatemala. I have no income, and our bathroom doesn't have running water.
Man, how different life is just one year later.
And it's awesome.
The things God spoke to me exactly a year ago have directly led me to where I am now. I had been praying for a year and a half to give me His dreams for my life, to teach me how to dream in Him. In college and before, I only knew how to dream for myself, out of my own heart and mind; I only knew how to discern through and for myself what I wanted in life. I had no idea how to find a greater dream, one that was bigger than my own hopes and my own understanding for how to use my heart and giftings. I didn't know what it meant for me to dream God's dreams for my life, and I had been asking Him to show me. Then, one night in that hotel, He spoke to me.
He answered those prayers in power. He told me His call on my life was to work with international poverty. That He had anointed and equipped me for that work, and that He would fulfill His dreams for me (and, therefore, my dreams) if I just follow the path He sets before me. The fact He would answer me, and give me my heart's desire, overwhelmed me. I couldn't stop going insane about His love and grace for weeks.
There's more to this story, but after some discernment and four strangers praying similar things over me, I knew I was going international in Jan 2014. And now I'm on the World Race. In Guatemala.
But the best thing is, He hasn't finished teaching me how to dream.
Reflecting on the call and dream given to me last year has made me think about the dreams to come. I know the Lord has much more in store for me. This last year has given me some wisps and hints of dreams to come, and when we visited Lago Atitlan last week on our off day, God pulled at m soul and teased out some of the new dream threads. His hopes and His calls are beautiful, but the magnitude of the dreams He whispers to me can be overwhelming.
Sometimes it scares the freaking monkeys out of me, honestly.
I was raised in a wonderful home, but in a normal neighborhood in suburbia, where practicality and realism was highly valued. The type of neighborhood where most people grew up to be married, work in the office 9-5, and raise their kids in a similar neighborhood. It's the kind of place where no one sincerely hoped to be a movie star or president. Although there was nothing wrong with this lifestyle, the currency of dreams was pretty undervalued.
Therefore, dreaming big goes against the grain for me. Big dreams have always scared me. It's always been a fight against my practical upbringing and my own realism to believe big dreams are possible. It's been even harder to believe that it's possible for ME to live them.
Up to this point in my life, I've pursued dreams carefully, one baby step at a time. Practically.
The truth is, I've been scared to dream too big. Sometimes I believe dreaming large is for other people, but not for me. Other times, I am just afraid of the risk, afraid of failure. Even sharing on this blog that He dreams big for me is terrifying.
But my God is a big God. And He dreams big dreams. If I really want to be like my God, then I must be about His big dreams too. He dreamt to deliver the Hebrews from Egypt using an insignificant human named Moses, a man afraid of public speaking. He dreamt to save the human race through one sacrifice of His Son, who only ministered as a human in Judea for 3 years. He dreams of restoration of this earth, to remake it fully and completely into a place with no sin, no tears, and no pain. He dreams to advance His restorative work through sinful-but-redeemed people. He dreams to use broken humans to spread His love and His message of salvation around the world, unbound by time, culture, or borders. He dreams to heal His children, but physically and emotionally. He dreams of His Kingdom. My God dreams big.
If I'm His daughter, and I'm dreaming His dreams for me, I'm going to dream big too.
Seeing His dream from last January come to fruition on this mission is an amazing reminder of how wonderful it is to dream and trust in Him. This year on the Race is a great first step.
But I know in my bones there is more to come.
Bring it, God. Bring me your vision.
Reflection time:
Do you still dream for your life? What are those dreams based in? Are you afraid to dream big? Are you afraid to believe in the promises of God, that there is more for you?
I challenge you this week to think (and I mean really THINK) about these questions… and maybe even to start praying for God to show you His big dreams for your life.
