Circumstances vs. Perspective

These are the words I heard in my podcast from Graham Cooke on The Art of Bouncing Back.  

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

An hour later we were standing on the foundation of a new church we’ve been building as a squad all month on Island Zapatera in nowhere Nicaragua. This island has no electricity, which means no wifi. There isn’t access to fruit stands or coffee. We have one light bulb that is powered by solar panels. We sleep on the floor or pile a few to a bed. We bathe in the river and poop in a hole.

So here I am standing in a circle with the two teams and the church community and we start singing and praying. The Nicaraguans start to pray deep, intense, heartfelt prayers. I stopped singing, in awe. They’re either crying prayers to God out of need or out of gratitude, but either way, that’s not something I’m familiar with.

I’ve only cried 2 prayers of serious sorrow and need to God; one when my brother got in a car accident a few years ago and I was afraid he would die, and another when I was severely heart broken. Those are the only times in my 23 years of living I’ve prayed deep sorrowful prayers to God in great desperation. I needed him. Only he could fix or provide what I needed. 

What’s even crazier, or scarier, is I’ve only prayed one genuine prayer of gratitude; when I found out my brother did not die in his car accident. 

Yes, I’ve prayed and thanked God for things. But I’ve never cried out in pure gratitude for what God has done, except that once.

And here I am, standing in Nicaragua on an island, in then midst of shacks and minimalistic living, and I see both; cries of lament and cries of gratitude. 

So I begin to think, God.. Why have you allowed me to have such good circumstances that I don’t know what it means to cry out in sorrow or to cry out in praise, truly from the depths of my soul. There’s an intimacy that comes from those prayers that I don’t have. And yet, I’m afraid to pray for that intimacy because I don’t know what that means for my circumstances. 

Then I began to think about the passage in Matthew 19:24 “Its easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.” 

I’ve never considered myself rich because people in the movie industry are rich, I’m not rich. But it’s true, I am rich. And I’m beginning to understand why Jesus said that about rich people. There’s a level of intimacy with God when you’re crying out to him in desperation. And there’s a closeness you can feel with him when you’re praising him out of sincere gratitude from the depths of your soul. 

But since rich people don’t feel that regularly, it’s nearly impossible to enter the Kingdom of God while here on Earth. God resides in his kingdom. He desires to bring heaven to Earth and has given us the Holy Spirit as a means to do so. But how can we feel that depth with God if our circumstances don’t allow us to desperately need or praise him with all we have in us?

“The problem isn’t your circumstance. The problem is your perspective.”

That is why it is so hard for rich people to enter the Kingdom of God here on Earth. Circumstances help with perspective, but it’s not necessary. God has changed my perspective just by observing. Like I put in my last blog, when I’m standing in the rain storms, my perspective is switched from “woe is me” to “what is God trying to be for me in this storm”. 

It’s all about perspective.

And I intend to seek out God’s perspective because I want to feel that intimacy. 

In other words, this camel is shoving herself into the eye of the needle.