***Last week, I mentioned in my prayer requests that I was struggling to see the significance of what I was doing. If I said what I was doing out loud, I knew that it was significant work, but I didn't feel it all the time, and I doubted it. I think it was due to my own insecurities and possibly Satan trying to get me to believe lies. Since we go to a new country each month, many times it's hard to see the fruit or impact that we have made. I guess after working and pouring out, I want to tangibly see that what I'm doing is making a difference and that my abilities were "good enough". I think I thought that only huge and profound experiences are to be counted as significant when in reality, many times, the profound can be found in the "ordinary". I was having profound experiences, but not acknowledging them as such.
I had to ask myself these questions: Am I willing to keep serving God and people even if I'm not blessed with feeling the fruit/impact? Am I willing to trust God to work and trust in His abilities/plan above my own? Am I willing to believe that my ''labor in the Lord is not in vain" (1 Cor 15:58) and that one day I'll be rewarded (Colossians 3:23-24)?
I realized that my thinking was very self-focused, and I put a lot of pressure on myself. I realized that I, on my own, can't make the difference that I desire, but that God is the one who does that, and I can give him the pressure that I put on myself. I also realized that even if I make the tiniest impact, I still made a difference (though it's usually a lot bigger than I think). Also, I realized that I, individually, may not make a huge difference, but I make a contribution to a whole that is making a great impact which is the body of Christ.
This is one of my favorite quotes: "As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man ahead of him picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Finally catching up with the youth, he asked him why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. 'But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish,' countered the old man. 'How can your effort make any difference?'The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and then threw it to the safety of the waves. 'It makes a difference to this one,' he said." -Donald Quimby
That being said, thank you for praying because this week I've really felt and seen the impact that I'm making. Please see my next blog for details… 🙂
strugglingdoubtedinsecuritiesliesgood enoughself-focusedpressureabilities- God
- Christ
- Praying
- Significance
- Fruit
- Impact
- Profound
- 'It makes a difference to this one'
- Felt
- Seen
