You probably already know this, but it’s 2019 now.
Crazy right?
I’m continuously blown away by how fast time keeps moving. Like, seriously, I’ve been out of the country for over four months!
When I left for the race, I remember thinking how weird it would be to leave the states during one year, and not return until the next. I didn’t want to think about how much time I was actually going to spend away from home. But the prospect of an entire new year ahead of me is really beautiful. And I’m so excited to get to start this new year surrounded by a community like this. I’m so excited to start a new year with God while surrounded by people who also love God. I’m excited to start a new year here in Guatemala, and go on to spend some of it in Cambodia. I’m excited to keep learning new things and continue to live out the plan the Lord has for me. I’m excited to wake up every day and praise the Lord for how great he is.
When thinking about a new year, it’s common for people to think about resolutions. And when thinking about resolutions, it’s easy to only see the things you want to happen. I think it’s equally important to think about the things that have already happened, the ways you have already grown, the blessings God has already given you. Last year at this time the only thing I wanted was peace. I started my senior year by writing a manifesto essay for my english class, declaring that all I wanted was to find peace in the chaos of a senior year. I wanted peace because I had no clue what I wanted to do this year. I wanted peace because I wasn’t sure about going to college. I wanted peace because it didn’t feel like God was giving me any answers.
I was so caught up in the stress of not finding peace that I missed the peace God was trying to offer me. Instead of realizing the peace God wants to give me every single day, I only looked for the peace I hoped to find in the future. When I realized this, I began to have the peace I had spent so long looking for.
I began to spend more time listening to what God had to say instead of telling him what I thought he should say. I began to more fully trust that he had a plan for me. I began to understand that trusting his plan meant waiting on his timing. And then, when I stepped back and let God do his work, things started falling into place. I saw the world race on my Instagram feed. I took time to talk to God about it before applying. I wasn’t worried or stressed when I took a long time finishing my application. I wasn’t upset when it seemed like God took his time telling me whether the race was the right choice or not. I got accepted, and now here I am in Guatemala telling you about it.
I’ve been thinking about all these things a lot lately, trying to figure out what I want this new year to look like, and I’ve spent a lot of time writing in my journal about it. The other day I wrote this:
“a new year
when I write that I feel really excited & hopeful,
expectant of this fresh new season to learn and
become so new, so renewed, in what the Lord has
promised me
[this year I declare I will have more
PATIENCE in trusting the Lord’s promises]
last year all I wanted was peace, and I think
I found that, I know I found that, but it took a
lot of stillness & waiting in trust to get the peace
I know God has a plan for this year too, and I
know he will tell me about it in his timing, not mine”
One of our mentors at the Adventures Guatemala base, Cali, talked about ATL the other day. ATL stands for Ask The Lord, and it’s something the staff at Adventures Guatemala spend a lot of time discipling us about. ATL is when we take the time to ask God what he has for us, and what he wants us to do. We can ask the Lord what he wants us to do when we are standing in a village about to start home visits. We can ask the Lord what he wants us to say to a teammate when we are praying over them. We can ask the Lord what we should do when we have some free time because ministry got done early. We can ask the Lord anything and everything, big or small, because he is our Father, and he desires to have a relationship with us. And the only way you can have a relationship with someone is if you spend time with them and trust that they will answer you back when you speak.
Asking the Lord is supposed to be normal, yet we sometimes have trouble believing that we hear the voice of God. Cali pointed out how weird that is. I mean, we believe that Jesus died on the cross and CAME BACK TO LIFE! We believe that Jesus ROSE PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD! We believe that Jesus MADE BLIND EYES SEE! Yet we have a hard time believing that God, our father, our friend, our king, hears our prayers and responds?! But we do hear his voice because he is our God and we are his sons and daughters. We are his sheep, he is our shepherd, and when sheep hear people speaking, they recognize which one is their shepherds voice and they follow it. It’s their identity, it’s who they are. Before Jesus came, there were prophets, people whose job it was to represent God before the people. Jesus came to fulfill a prophecy, which means that prophets are no longer needed. We’ve been given the ability to hear the Lord’s voice, so why don’t we believe it?
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we don’t want to surrender. Cali spoke a lot about this, and it left me with a completely different perspective. The thing is, when we spend time asking the Lord, we’re setting ourselves up for surrender. We’re human, so our bodies always want to lean toward the way of the flesh to protect ourselves. When we tell God that we want to hear his voice, we are saying we will surrender to his way. And God’s way makes us stand out, it sometimes makes us look weird. It’s the bold way. The thing is, if we want more growth to happen, we have to be open to receiving it. We have to be willing to look awkward. We have to be willing to look ridiculous for God if it means that someone else is going to feel his love.
We also have to be willing to do what God asks us right now. Because if we can’t do what God’s asking us now, how will we be able to later. It involves immediate obedience. And yes, I want to be obedient because God is my father and king, but even more because I genuinely want what the Lord has for my life. I want to hear his voice. I want to wait for his plan. I want to ask him what I’m supposed to do next fall.
But when I ask the Lord, I have to be ready to respond immediately with boldness.
So when I ask for the peace that comes with knowing what I’m supposed to do next fall, I want to be ready to respond to what God says. I want to be ready to ask what God wants me to do today before I ask what he wants me to do next year.
In 2019, I want to have patience in trusting God’s promises and boldness while I wait on his timing.
