I discredit my creator. I said it! I hear about healings and have read about countless. obviously I knew my Creator was miraculous but disbelief still peeked in there. how fleshly! how evil!
most wednesdays my team and i get to visit the homesteads of families that have children that come to our care point. it’s a beautiful time to build relationships and learn about the culture we have been living in. but it is hard too- we see the living conditions of the people we love and hearts are torn. they scramble to look presentable as soon as we come and throw their doors open with welcome.
one particular Wednesday my team and i were very hungry to witness a miracle. we knew our Father was a healer and had heard incredible stories of other teams. the evil seed of comparison had snuck in. i had looked back on our past house visits and hadn’t seen them as “productive” nothing spectacular had happened. (spoiler: just making the community feel wanted and known is spectacular enough)
it was almost as if we were marching down the street, ready for anything that was thrown at us. we stopped and prayed for a one legged beggar name simon- in my head i was like “ok dad what if you just gave him a new leg right now- you obviously can” nadda. down the road another ten minutes we saw a limping gogo(grandma.) “OH here it is baby. were bringing someone home today!” her name was clementine. she had a constant sharp pain up the outer side of her right ankle and vericious vains all wrapped up in an ace bandage. over and over we placed our hands on her with full faith that our Creator would wipe away all pain causing her to go about her life limping. after about the third time my teammate emmy asked her “so how is it feeling?” clementine responded with “still hurts- but i have full faith God will heal me! i have been praying everyday!” boom okay we were sure He was going to heal and so was she so we prayed a couple more times. she stopped us and told us about a house with a boy, phalek, who is bedridden with very bad chest painsand invited us to come to her home after our stops. excited for more healing opportunities we moved on to his home. as soon as i entered the room my heart shattered and dropped. he looked about my age and didnt even have the strength to hide his pain like most boys of that range in this culture. his face was twisted and he was balled up clutching his heart. my team spent about a half an hour insesently praying over him then worshiping and then back yo prayer over and over – his pain didnt lift. eventually we had to leave. frustrated. asking all the questions in my head. i had full faith in His healing- i was expectant. God wasn’t that what you called us to do?!!
we stopped at a few other homes before going back to clementines- as soon as we stepped foot onto her homestead oh my darling clementine hobbled quickly up to us- kissed us, embraced us. this womans joy was straight from the lord. all of her words glorified abba and wven with the continued prayer of her ankle she stood steadfast in knowing He was a healer and if it was His will He would take away all her pain.
Again we left with what i thought was no fruit. these people and their strength had impacted my heart but i still wanted more for them. frustrated i took it to the lord and told him i was hurt that they hurt- all i wanted was to see that instant gratification but oh honey my fleshly time sure isn’t His time.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE – that next week we went back to clementines house. her grand entrance was one WITH NO LIMP. oh my heart skipped a million beats. we asked her how her leg was feeling and SHE HAD NO PAIN. “God healed me,” she joyously cried!! we sang and talked with our dear friend. her faith zoomed my little point of view so far out. again back at our carepoint, our preschool teacher, who had been phalaks caretaker was there. we asked how phalak was feeling- i almost was scared to ask because i didnt want to know if that boy was still balled up on his bed. nonchalantly she responded “eish hes at school now. after you guys left- he fell asleep and then woke up with no pain at all.” emmy and i literally asked her to repeat what she had just said. LITERAL DISBELIEF. our creator HAD HEALED HIM and that exact day. maybe and hour after we left.
hunty even if im not a witness that mans is still doing His thang. He wants me to trust Him so stinking hard and believe He heals even when i can’t see the fruit. he is such a teacher. he knows i learn best with kicks in the gut. darling clementine and sweet phalak were the coolest kicks in the gut i’ve ever gotten.
rejoice. shout and dance before the lord. have faith! know that He is good in it all with it all.
