i giggle every time i walk down that special hallway in every grandmas home that has that cliche cross stitched plaque stating “home is where the heart is” with embroidered flowers and a house with a chimney under it. in a way i see that as truth but for a while i was scared of the truths in that. my heart belongs to so many things scattered all over the world right now. is it broken? does it feel incomplete if i’m not surrounded by all those things that make me feel like home? no.
i was literally riddled with guilt for the first month of swazi- homesickness wasn’t something i had been experiencing. i was the shoulder to cry on when people mourned and the ears to listen when people were learning how to cope being away from home. i was worried i wasn’t homesick because of lies like “you don’t actually care about the things you had to leave” or “this wasn’t a sacrifice” and the scariest one “you are apathetic.” i have a heart and emotions- Christ created me with those and even without tears i mourn but in my own way. who the heck knows why i was riddled with comparisons in those moments except the fact that the enemy likes to take what is good and glorifying and turn it into darkness.
I was laying on top of our septic tank on a blistering hot day, being fried like an actual egg when the Lord spoke to me- “I am your home.” peace. so much of it just chilled that fried igg.
wherever i’m in constant conversation and relationship with Him i am home. right where my feet are.
in psalms 27:4 david sings “I have asked the LORD for one thing; one thing only do I want: to live in the LORD ‘s house all my life, to marvel there at his goodness, and to ask for his guidance.”
when i think of a house i think of being surrounded, being comforted and being protected. not only does my Abba Father embody those things but he’s gifted me with a squad that i’m surrounded with, community that comforts me and He equips me with all the armor i need for protection (ephesians 6.)
whether its the bright green aim buildings we spend our weeks at, the forest green compound we live in, the weathered green house i have grown up in, or the luscious green of His creation- He surrounds me constantly. He is my home. He(through the author of the book Come Matter Here) calls us to be where our feet are. don’t compare exactly where you are at to anything you have known.
He is your comfort and we are with Him always.
I am Home exactly where my toes wiggle.
