I must've been 3 years old when Katrina called me ugly. I remember her braids. Two braids.
Then Kurt pushed me off a tricycle and called me ugly. I cried. A lot.
In pre-school, some girls on the jungle gym said being brown was ugly. They refused to play with me.
Middle school only made things worse.
More cruel teasing, insults & harassment before I made it into high school…
…after high school, an abusive marriage to a man who also never called me beautiful.
When the marriage fell apart, "You're lucky you have a nice rack," he hissed…
…"so men don't have to look at your ugly face."
And I always felt like the racial slur "dirty Mexican" referred to my skin.
Make-up couldn't mask the ugly enough, and weight-loss didn't shed the ugly either.
When I looked in the mirror, beauty was nowhere to be found.
What I'm about to admit is embarrassing.
My name is Imelda.
I'm 31 years old.
I barely discovered that I'm brown & I'm beautiful.
I've always been exuberantly & verbosely Latina. I just didn't admit that I was brown.
I'd correct people and emphasize that was I actually light-skinned…
…or at the least olive-toned.
But the beautiful truth is: I'm brown.
Yet as beautiful as brown is, that is not my beauty.
I have found a new mirror…
…this mirror always shows me the truth. It opens my eyes and lets me see.
It never changes, not even when I feel bloated or have a zit.
This special mirror does not magnify my wrinkles or any unflattering flab.
This mirror doesn't even point out my outward blemishes.
My mirror is:
The Word of God.
Mirror, mirror on the wall…I can say:
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. Psalm 139:13-14
And my mirror will answer to me:
How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful! Your eyes are like doves. Song of Songs 1:15
And the mirror will also remind me:
Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4
Ugly
Jesus wiped that word out of my vocabulary.
