In our daily uses of communication there is always one that is much stronger than others. I found out what mine was through The Five Love Languages. Gary Chapman taught me that there are five languages that we use in a way to share love. They are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
My love language is physical touch and a lot of times I wish it wasn't. We live in a world where people question every act that you take; assumptions pop up left and right. You see a man and a woman hug and you assume that they have a relationship greater than just friends. You watch someone go through the McDonald's drive thru and assume that they are obese. You see a woman in her twenties with two kids and you assume that she's an irresponsible mother. But that man and woman who hugged each other could have been brother and sister. That person that went through the McDonald's drive thru could have been picking his kids up something tasty for being good. That woman in her twenties is happily married, with stable jobs and a heart for the Lord. My personal love language is the most assumed of them all.
I've started reading a book called Neighbors and Wise Men (which I recommend highly). In the book there is a chapter called 'Holy Kiss'. I would like to share with you a passage from it that moved me:
Touch was stolen from me.
It was stolen form me by the American story. It was stolen from me by our puritanical religious roots, and by an entertainment culture that turns affection into sensuality. It was stolen from me by a generation of homophobia that calls all same-gender affection into question.
Society and religion have bedded together to relegate touch to either the sexual or the inappropriate, with little in between.
This moved me in a way where I actually cried really hard. I cried because I was so mad at satan for stealing this from me. I was mad that I couldn't receive my love without feeling judged. I feel judged because of the people assuming things. The three things that satan does is steal, kill and destroy. Boy oh boy did he get right at the core of where I was. I can't even hug my own best friend without people assuming that we are gay. I can't hug women in my life who have been like mom's to me without people assuming that we are having an affair. Churches all across this country judge anyone who hugs who isn't husband and wife. All of these facts came crashing in around me when I read that small paragraph. I just sat there sobbing like a little baby about something that is much smaller than my God.
That's just it! God is so much bigger than satan and anything that he has to manipulate. I began reading the bible and I read Romans 16:16. A holy kiss. Then I remembered there's the disciple whom Jesus loved: John. He leaned on Jesus' bosom at the last supper. If Jesus didn't want physical affection then he would have stated it clearly in the Bible. But what does He do? He shows us many examples of physical affection in the Bible. Yes, touch was stolen from me. But I can get it back through Him. I am now, not ever conscious that someone is judging me when I hug them. Because I am receiving love, or Also Known As God, when someone touches me.
I learned how to speak again through my Father who loves me.
