It took me a while to figure out, but I realized something my heart longs after. That is to be understood. I don’t desire affirmation that my views are correct or even desire to win an argument. I honestly don’t care too much that someone agrees with me or that I share the same culture, worldview, passions, etc. with someone. I personally love hearing many differing perspectives and expanding my own worldview through that. But I do appreciate when someone takes the time to genuinely understand my views and what I believe. Then, we can civilly disagree, pose differing opinions, and both be the better because of it. I notice though that at times my heart is more concerned with being understood than the other person’s well being or even what I should be ultimately concerned about, which I am learning should be the Father’s glory and doing His work.
In John 13, Jesus is with the disciples just before He is about to be arrested and later crucified. He knew His time was near. John 13:3 says, “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands…”. The word that stuck out to me in this verse is the word “knowing”. While Jesus is perfect and doesn’t need a confidence boost, I could see this knowing as something that instills in Jesus a calm confidence to continue to do His work without worrying what others may say or think. Jesus knew what His purpose was. To give glory to the Father and to do the Father’s work. This is what Jesus was passionate about and focused on in His life. He spoke what the Father said, He did the works of the Father, He sought the Father’s glory. Fascinating to see this theme come up all through out John (John 5:19; 8:28-29, 50, 54; 10:18; 12:28; 13:31-32). Did Jesus know the specifics of what that looked like and what was going to happen? Not sure. But He did understand what His ultimate goal was and that it was more about bringing glory to the Father and not to Himself.
Small side note, it’s beautiful to see that as Jesus sought to bring glory to the Father, the Father brought glory to the Son. Neither sought glory in themselves, but both sought the glory of one another (John 13:31-32).
I think it is this same knowing of God’s purpose for me that gives me confidence to walk in what God has for me, even if and when it may look quite different from the world. I long to make my life about the Father’s glory, doing His work and speaking His words. I wonder how vastly different my life would be if that were more central to my thoughts through out my day to day as I am led by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-25). Because Jesus understood His purpose, He could pursue it even when others didn’t understand.
Just a few verses later, Jesus is washing the disciples feet, just before He is going to be crucified. In John 13:7 Jesus says, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” Jesus sets the example for being willing not to be understood. If anyone lived a life that was contrary to the world’s way of living life and not understood by others, I feel it was Jesus. Just look at the countless interactions with Jesus and the Pharisees as well as many others. There were so many that had questions for Jesus and who He was. The disciples did not understand what He was doing or was about to do, but this did not deter Him from doing what He was called to do. Jesus does not criticize them for not seeing His point of view, nor did He try to explain Himself, nor did He get frustrated with them, He extends grace by loving the disciples where they were at and walking in obedience to the Father, which we see He continually pursued throughout His life.
What does all of this mean? I am learning that even if those around me don’t fully understand where I am coming from or they don’t view me in a way that I feel is completely true, it’s okay. I realize I don’t have to defend myself. That’s not what I was put on this earth for. I was not created to argue my point of view. Or, to be understood by others. I am here to know God, to make Him known, and to bring glory to the Father. With this understanding, I can choose to love others right where they are at, for their best! For their good. They may not fully understand my point of view, but that’s not what I’m after. My goal in life is not to be understood. When I explain myself in order for others to fully and completely understand my thoughts or beliefs, am I really seeking what’s best for them or am I really seeking the Father’s glory? Perhaps, at certain moments God calls me to share more, explain my view for the sake of truth, or defend my faith. Perhaps at other times, I ought to check my own heart and see if there is an ulterior motive in my desire to explain myself. Perhaps, I am looking to bolster my reputation or I am simply not willing to change.
I think it’s critical to love people right where they are at and to show them love how best they receive it. At times, Christ sat in silence, such as when He went through trial. He received false accusations, things that were not true of Him through out His entire life. He took it. He showed grace. He didn’t need to prove a point. At times, Christ was bold and made a stand, such as sharing the Kingdom of Heaven is near and calling people to repent and follow Him. He was bold at times and He was silent at other times, but He always displayed grace. It comes down to being led by the Spirit and doing what He is calling and leading me into in that moment.
If my focus is on building my reputation and pursuing my own glory, I will miss out on all God has for me. I will be too busy defending my views, protecting my reputation*, and striving to be accepted by the world, a fruitless and tiresome endeavor. But, if my focus is pursuing the Father’s glory, I believe this will give me confidence to walk in what He has for me and extend grace to others, even if I am not fully understood. I no longer have to be understood nor feel the need to explain my position, I have all I need in Christ and that simply is more than enough.
No one likes displaying their faults and I sure don’t like showcasing my flaws. However, I hope that you find a short section that you resonate with and are encouraged by and changed for the better. After all, it is not about my glory, but the Father’s :). Much love!
*Wanted to note the balance and fruit from seeking to maintain a good reputation 🙂 (Proverbs 22:1)
