The Holy Spirit started moving on the flight from Istanbul to Dar Es Salaam. I am not even sure I can walk you through the insane revelation God provided for me on the flight but I am going to attempt. It was moving first through our squad leader Brittany Baker who came to me asking for prayer. After I got done praying for her, I sat down to intercede for her through prayer in my chair. Distracted from all the noise, I turned on my iPad and started shuffle in one of my playlists. Hoping that I could stay more focused on prayer while worship music was going in the background. One of my best friends Josh Fort always said iTunes Shuffle is "God's Providence." I don't think I fully understood what that meant until tonight. As the songs started playing, I couldn't help but focus on the lyrics. Something I hardly do is focus on lyrics, I rarely listen to the words of a song but God pulled my attention to specific sentences of six songs.
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The first song was Blow Me Away by Ascend the Hill. This has been my prayer since Passion 2012. On the way back from Colorado, we decided to go to Passion in Georgia. We didn't have tickets, we didn't have a hotel, we didn't have a plan but we were going. I listened to this song probably fifty times on the drive there. This song fully encompasses what my prayer was for Passion and the World Race. This sentence is what the Lord wanted me to remind me of tonight: Because it's your presence Lord that I miss. You blow me away. You're beautiful, so wonderful, you're glorious, you are. So marvelous, so majestic, so powerful, you are.
He wanted to remind me how much I truly missed his presence this past month. He was with me and I had amazing bible study but I always felt there was something more that was supposed to be happening.
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After the song finished Come Lord Like You Promised by Ascend the Hill was next up. Probably my second favorite song, God definitely knows what He is doing. These sentences have been a battle cry in my heart since the start of the Race: Come Lord like you promised, just like you said you would. Do not delay. Come with healing in your touch, come with fire in your eyes. Just like you said you would oh Lord. Come with grace and mercy, come with judgment and might, just like you said you would oh Lord. Come riding in the wave, let your glory pierce the sky.
God lit up my eyes to the healing that is going to take place in Africa. I can't completely describe how He connected dots in my mind and I don't think I fully understood what He was doing in my life at that moment. I just felt Him saying, "It's coming."
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At training camp You're Never Giving Up by Jonathan David Helser was a favorite. One that brings back good memories of freedom and forgiveness. One that reminds me where this journey began. The lyrics say, Your love it never fails, it never ends. Your love it never quits, it never stops chasing my soul. You're never giving up, you're never giving up on me.
I have felt defeated this month with lustful thoughts and pleasing the flesh. I know I have forgiveness and grace. I know. I was just tired of feeling such defeat in a time when I am supposed to be serving my all for the Savior. God reminded me of His amazing love, wow its amazing. He never stops chasing me, He always wants more of me. Constantly seeking my attention. He said to me tonight, "You don't have to worry about anything. I use the weak and broken to do mighty things."
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I just watched a movie about a boy who lost his father in the World Trade Center called Extremely Loud and Incredible Close. This little boy blew my mind with his love of his father. He knew everything about his father, literally everything. There is a scene in the movie where he just stands in a street yelling detailed facts about his father. He knew details about his father that only come from hours of observation.
That thought lead me into Alone by My Epic a band I mistakenly found from a non-christian friend at work. The lyrics that God highlighted say: You didn't die for sins, you died covered in them… For that one moment, you looked just like me. So your father left you and you died completely alone. For me, you were alone… You conquered death all alone. Never again, never alone.
Jesus died on the cross for me and when He took my sins away, the Father left Him. He couldn't be in His presence because of the multitude of sins that He harvested from the earth. The boy in the movie lost his father whom he knew everything about. I cannot imagine losing my father, I tear up just thinking about it. Jesus lost his father whom He knew better than anyone. He started His prayers with "Our Father" 150 times in the gospel of John alone. Jesus relationship with His father cannot be fathomed, but for us he conquered death all alone.
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Of course, God brought me to Joy by Ascend the Hill as the next song. The lyrics say: Overflow us with your life and the joy that it brings and we will lose ourselves in you. Break the chains from our feet and we will be dancing once again. Bring freedom to our hearts and we will never be the same. Well love ourselves in you. Cause we can't contain this joy, we can't contain we celebrate. It's joy unspeakable and full of glory. Holy Spirit come, ever burden to destroy. We'll lose ourselves in you. We've lost ourselves in you. Cause we can't contain this joy.
There was a time this month when tiredness sat in and I didn't want to do anything. Jo Linda and I were talking about minsitry in the past, about the time my knees were healed and she asked me to pray for her knees to be healed. In a quick instant I became ashamed for some reason and said we could do it another time. God said to me, "Break your chains so you can dance, stop holding yourself back. You are never going to be the same. Your team has so much joy that Africa cannot contain you."
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The last song was Bring Me Back by Everfound. This is a recent addition to my music collection and I am not sure exactly where they came from. The lyrics that God spoke into my life were: I want to breath for more than filling my lungs. Would you bring me back? Were my heart beats, where my soul breaths. Bring me back. Were my heart beats, where my soul breaths. Bring me back. BRING ME BACK!
He is bringing me back to a renewed walk with Him. As we descend on a new continent, God is walking me into a new time with Him. He's bringing me back from a time when it was getting easy to slip back into a mindset where my Great Commission was greater than my Great Commandment. My great commandment is to
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:37-40).
