The hardest part of my Race hasn't been from anything I would have expected. Going into the Race, the glimpses I was given of what it would look like made it seem like a grand adventure. It has been a great adventure but at the same time it has been a huge challenge…
And, I am so thankful that it hasn't just been about the adventure.
It's been a battle for hearts.
Every day.
The hardest part of my Race has been the wounds and projections from women on my squad from boys in their past.
Fathers, boys, and uninitiated men created some deep wounds in the women I have come to call my sisters. On the Race there have been times I would do something, act a certain way or say something that would touch one of those wounds.
Sometimes I will notice in the moment from their non-verbals, other times it has comes out in harder ways than I knew I was going to experience on the Race.
Men, you have to step up in those moments. You have to set a new standard in their lives for men. Especially Godly men, who are an unfathomable mystery for some women. Step up by showing grace, showing that you still love them despite everything that they think they know about you.
Men, you will be stereotyped. I don't know if you realize how deep some of these wounds are going into hearts in our world. I know I created some wounds in my past, most likely you have as well.
There are going to be times when you are going to love well but you will be rejected. Don't give up. You might not know it now, especially if you haven't left on the Race, but you love the women on your squad. They are going to become intertwined into your story and the life that they speak into you is going to change you forever. So don't give up, don't lose trust and continue to show grace.
There are going to be times when instead of pointing out a character flaw, a wound or something that is frustrating, you going to have to wait. There are times when you just need to pray feedback instead of giving feedback. There are times when you need to show love instead of retreating or being passive.
Pursue their hearts.
Don't speak out of your pain or aggravation. Learn patience instead. Don't respond with sarcasm, you are not loving well. Learn the weight that silence holds instead. Too many boys in their past have destroyed their hearts with words.
Change their perspective on men.
Set the bar and keep raising it.
Live a life of complete honesty. You are running this Race with women, not girls. For the most part, they can handle hearing even the hardest things you are going through.
They need to hear the hardest things you are going through.
So don't be afraid to open up with them.
You are shaping women's view on what their husbands should look like, and you should take that seriously. Fight for your women.
I'm calling you, as your brother, to learn how to love. And learn how to love well. Don't be afraid to show yourself and don't shut down because you feel unworthy.
All of this came from a long and hard Race. I had to learn how to love. I had to learn how to forgive and especially how to show grace. It is month 11 and I am still learning.
The Father and His insurmountable love and our relationship that He has developed over this past year is what created this change in my heart. He has shown me how to love and above all…
Pursue Him with all your heart and the rest is sure to follow.
(Book suggestions: Wild at Heart, Captivating and Fathered by God by John Eldredge.)
