These past few days have been the hardest days of my Race so far. Events that have taken place have pushed me beyond myself and I can only rely on God in these critical times. When I have run out of prayers to speak, I find myself speaking in tongues. This is the only way I can continue to press into God when normal words have run dry. I find myself writing down what He is speaking, to remind myself that He is speaking. He is teaching me new ways to hear His voice, but the experiences I am encountering are overwhelming.
Through all of this hardship, I am pressing into God.
It says in Matthew, "Come to me all you who are weak and heavy burden and I will give you rest." I am having to repeat this promise to God and I have experienced His faithfulness.
Last night, I broke down as Jill, Mark and I began to pray in the cold fog that was overshadowing our compound here in Kitale, Kenya. I needed to hear from God, I didn't understand Him. Why and what is happening?
This morning, I spent my time alone. The team went to ministry but my heart felt numb. I needed to sit with God and just listen to His voice. I stayed up all of last night, less two or three hours as I dazed in and out of consciousness, and prayed and read and listened. Most people who know me well, know that I don't feel invigorated by alone time. I love to be around people. I love connecting with people. Even when I am quiet, people are my go to place for energy and peace. Sitting alone in the coffee shop this morning, in the quiet, in the stillness was good but I wanted more from God. He reminded me of the time in Bucharest, Romania that I was able to be a part of a ridiculous conversation with a Romanian on the streets.
I was alone.
Today, I was in the same situation.
I left the coffee shop. Split between my search of a phone charger, food for travel tomorrow and an experience from God.
God blessed me with a street kid named Eudan (You-den).
Street kids have been on my heart all Race. The homeless in general have a special place in my heart.
Often times, I am unsure how to handle them. I learned a lot from Tony in Honduras about how to speak to them, show them love and challenge them. There is more than just giving them money and being done with it. These boys and girls need love, they need Christ. I want to give them more than food or money.
Eudan was standing on the street corner, alone and had the face of someone who felt broken like me. I said, "Hello" to him, shook his hand and told him to walk with me. As we were walking down the street our conversation progressed. For once the first words out of this street kids mouth were not, "Give me food. I want 10 shillings." Somehow, he speaks perfect English. Perfect. He cannot be older than 12 years old. He was talking to me like a normal person, like a friend having a conversation.
God knew what I needed today.
As I sit in this coffee shop, that realization is breaking me. There are mzungus all around and I am crying.
Eudan stole my heart. As we were talking I asked him why he lived on the streets. He told me that his parents are dead and his Auntie brought him here and then she left him. So now he is stuck on the street.
As I looked at his feet, I noticed there were no shoes on them. I asked him what happened to his shoes. He said, "How am I supposed to buy shoes without money?"
