Spent some time this morning at a Catholic church crying . It seem´s GOD has a way of cutting to the heart of thing´s. I had a friend at home tell me I wasn´t ready to go on the mission field,before I left for the WORLD RACE. I felt the LORD was leading me, but I also felt he asked me to lay it down. When he asked me to lay it down he also said I could pick it back up again, and if I did he would still use me but my heart was not ready to serve him. I had read a book by Derek Prince, in it he talked about the LORD asking Abraham to lay down Isaac (the dearest thing to his heart). Then he posed the question to his reader´s. What is your Isaac, and would you lay it down if the LORD told you to. So I pondered this and decided the WORLD RACE was my Isaac at that time. So the night before my birthday last year Sept. 24(hint hint ) I talked to my pastor and a couple of close friend´s. I told them what had been transpiring in my heart between myself and the LORD and told him I was going to lay down the WORLD RACE. As you know I picked my Isaac back up off of the altar. I must confess that I was afraid that I didn´t know if I could make it through another winter in Michigan.So here I am trying to seek the LORD and his will for me. I know alot of my blog´s seem downcast, but you should know growing up in your own private hell take´s a little while to overcome especially when you try to do it in your own strength. Or rather year´s when you try to do it on your own.Sexual abuse is a very painful subject one most like to avert. How about for the people who go through it ? Another friend told me a couple of year´s ago that if I trusted the LORD he could do in a couple of month´s what I had been trying to do for year´s, heal my heart. In my last blog I talked about finally doing something the LORD told me to do year´s ago. Well i´m finally doing it and GODS finally healing my heart! The LORD is sending me to South Carolina to a prophetic ministry conference Aug 31´st-Sept. 2´nd please pray God will provide for me, that he will speak to me equip me and put the people in my path to ministewr to me and that he would have me minister to. I still believe I´m where the LORD want´s me he knew what I would do and knew what it would take for me to finally obey him. IN HIS LOVING HAND´S Hugh