I was sweeping the floor last Sunday morning after a men’s retreat here at the Gateway and I just kept feeling like I needed to call a friend of mine,I put it off made my mind move on to something else but, just couldn’t shake that sense I needed to call. So I go get ready to call and felt I needed to pray. I stop pray and really felt the LORD was saying tell him I love him and I’m with him. My friend answer’s and I told him I just felt like I was supposed to call you. Turn’s out my friend has been in the PIT. S o we just related about depression and frustration for a while. It’s important to note this is a man I respect alot and have pushed and tested before. When we first started to get to know each other (my stuff) yet the LORD used me to minister to him. Iv’e wrestled with depression for year’s. Although lately it’s not been as predominate.I just love when GOD use my hurt’s and pain’s to help other’s. It’s the only thing that make’s it worth going through. The LORD has really been setting me free from these old mindset’s.
I was out breaking up concrete today listening to Some praise and worship music, talking to GOD , and feeling kind of GIDDY when suddenly this fear gripped me that if this continued I might be diagnosed with GARY PARKER DISORDER(Gary’s this guy at my home church who alway’s look’s like he Just overdosed on antidepresant’s) or maybe, he’s just full of Jesus. Either way I know he love’s me.
One of the guy’s that work’s here at the Gateway is getting ready to put a roof on his house.I offered to help him. He was just really sincerely thankful. Took over a piece of discarded construction material to one of the other worker’s house this morning and offered to help him do a couple little thing’s, he told the other guy that I was a good friend. I think these little act’s of kindness are trite but it mean’s a lot to them, and I appreciate thier open gratitude. I really am going to miss the staff around here, from the local’s to the people from the state’s my time here has been good!!!
I know I’m just rambling but, it’s alowed say’s ME . Have had some critic’s. It seem’s I’m not everyone’s favorite person hard to believe,but it’s a truism. Anyway’s when we get caught in the labrynth of our own pain it take’s time to work out. Not that the LORD doesn’t want us to be free now. In his widom, he know’s we have to work through this incrimentally. Otherwise it would destroy us. Now here’s the ? Why are we so hard on other people and thier process? Yet we can rationalise are own stuff away all day and night if necessary!!! Isn’t there a scripture somewhere that say’s bear one another’s burden’s in love? How much quicker could we all get past the junk if we just honestly related to each other. Maybe, we just need to follow that tugging more often. That little voice that say’s call your friend. Me too.Please keep me in prayer that I would be growing. Especially in hearing the LORD and love. A friend here at the Gateway gave me a cool compliment today he said thier is a recognisable difference since returning from southern Mexico. I believe, this is due to obedience. Really feel like the LORD told me the closer I get to him the more he’s going to heal me. I want the rest of my day’s to be to be spent living in the heart of GOD!!!
