Well well well. Look who decided to get up the nerve to blog again. A few minutes ago I tried to take a nap, but my mind was racing and I couldn’t turn it off. I was thinking about how it’s already May, and how this whole thing comes to an end next month.
I was thinking about all the things I should be doing instead of taking a nap… I should blog. I should be emailing people back home. I should read my Bible or write in my diary. I should blog. I should work on my short story. I should wash my dirty clothes in the sink or cut my toenails or eat a mango. I should blog…I felt like I was in college again, where I had a million things to do and hardly any time to do them.
I decided to ditch the nap, get up and do something proactive. So here I am.
I have regrets from my time on the World Race. One of them is that I never really found the balance between “living in the moment” and staying in touch with people back home, or taking time away for myself. To me, this experience has always been short-lived, and I wanted to be a part of every conversation and every experience. I didn’t want to be distracted with taking a picture or using the Internet or a reading a good book.
I suppose it’s good to live in the moment, but it’s also good to take a break. Living dangerously can be exhausting sometimes. At least I think so.
So instead of taking a nap and recharging for my next in-the-moment-experience, I’m writing this blog. It’s not brilliant; it won’t be a featured blog on the World Race home page. But it will allow my family and friends back home to know where I am and what I’m doing. Also, I want to remind you that I think about you often. I really do.
I’m in Cambodia. We arrived yesterday, and the difference from here and Thailand is pretty vast. Thailand is much more developed. Though I was in a grocery store earlier today, and I spotted a small box of Cheez-its. A four dollar box of Cheez-its. It was hard to resist.
I wish you could’ve seen us in the grocery store. We were shopping on our budget of $1.25 per meal – we spent what seemed like hours in the aisles as we debated in our hearts whether the peanut butter or jelly was the better buy. “I love grocery shopping at home, but I can’t take this!” one of my squadmates said as she added up the cost of what she had in her basket. It’s during such times when we most miss the United States.
FYI, peanut butter wins. It always does.
Tomorrow we have orientation, and on Monday we leave for our ministry sites. This is our last month together as our teams – next month we will be split up by girls and guys.
My team is doing really well – we have reached the point where we are family, and not just strangers who have been thrown together. I love the other people on my squad, but I recently realized that I feel most comfortable when I’m with my team. When I’m with them I know I’m always accepted – no matter how much I screw up. I can confidently approach one of them with conflict or constructive criticism, and I know they will humbly accept what I have to say. Likewise, if one of them approaches me, I know they have my best interest at hand. I have fun with my team – whether we’re playing or working or just sitting around talking. It’s going to be weird when I wake up and one of them isn’t right next to me.
Two more months. I’m going to continue to live in the moment – this time with pauses. I will pause to breathe and read and update you on all my happenings. I promise. I think.
