December has been no walk in the park. December has definitely been the hardest month for me so far. I was sick a lot this month so typically when your sick all you wanna do is curl up on your bed and have your mom or dad sit with you and watch movies. Well thats exactly what I wanted but I couldn’t have that. Being sick was what started me to be extremely home sick this month. On top of being sick i had 2 bad infections that where very painful. So thats another thing that made me home sick because i just wanted to be home so my mom could take care of me. All through this month I have non stop been thinking about home and my family and friends. There have been multiply times where I just had to walk away from everyone and cry because I just couldn’t stop thinking about home. I would lay in my bed and not really have any motivation to want to do ministry because I was so sad and I felt really lonely. The worst day that i was home sick was on Christmas eve. I went to off to my secret little hiding spot and sat there and just cried. I sat there for about an hour and I had stopped crying and felt better. So I came back to everyone and someone started talking about family and thinking what they where doing at the time, so of course I lost it again and had to go back to my spot. This time though when i went I grabbed all my letters I had. I reread them and cried some more while reading them. It made me happy to read them but also sad at the same time. So at this point I was extremely tired of feeling sad and I was tired of crying so I sat there and really contemplated going home. If I went home I would get to see everybody again and be with them and I wouldn’t be sick or get infections. If I went home I would be in my comfort zone. I would haven given up and given in to the enemy pressuring to go home. If I would have gone home I would have disappointed everyone and I would have disappointed myself. The rest of the day i was really sad and missed my family a ton. So with how crappy I had felt all day I expected Christmas to be awful, but it was the complete opposite of awful. So when I woke up on christmas morning I don’t really know what I felt. So one of y squad leaders who has been staying with us cut a tree branch and used it as are christmas tree in are room. We did secret santa too. So when I woke up Morgan ( my squad leader) saw I was awake and was like “Hope i think santa left something under the tree for you”. I got up and figured out she was my secret santa and she had gotten me a bunch of stuff. This was the perfect way to start off my day. I was so happy with what I got and one of the girls on my team wrote us all letters and another girl got us all chocolate (which is a big treasure on the race!). The morning as starting off a lot better then i expected it to. We all got up and some people on the squad made everyone a special breakfast. We had cinnamon roll pancakes and bacon and eggs(it was so good, this was the first time we all had bacon since being on the trip so we got kinda excited). After breakfast we went to watch all are buddies open the gifts we got them and the ones they got from sponsors. Quick side note, when we got here at the orphanage we all got paired with a kid also known as are buddies. Anyway we all got are buddy some gifts. So we grabbed are gifts for them and all headed to the chapel to watch them open there gifts. We walked by all the kids and they where all looking at us with the gifts and coming up to touch them and feel them. They where all so excited. We got in the chapel and all the kids gift where organized in a line in the front with there names. When we all finished putting are gifts to there pile they brought the kids in. When all the kids came in we all where singing jingle bells and they where all running in and looking at the gifts on the front. They all had the biggest smiles on there face. It was an awesome moment. We all got with are buddies and waited till there name was called to there gifts. My buddy was finally called and he’s 8 so he’s kinda tiny so i had to help him. But right before they called his name he was sitting on my lap and counting down how many people till his name was called. He was so excited. We went out side with his gifts and found somewhere to sit to pen his gifts. He got some pants and a few shirts and a back pack and new shoes and a big truck. I got him some sunny shades because he always stole mine and I got him chocolate and candy and some toys. Oh I wish you all could of seen his face when he opened his gifts. He was so happy. He of course opened the candy first and ate it all. We put stuff in his backpack and he put his sunshades on and we walked to his room to put it all away and he looked so cute. I walked back down to where we where staying and hung out with some people and gave my secret santa his gift. later that day we did a field day for the kids. They loved it and we ended it with a big water balloon fight (it was like 90 degrees out). It was a fun time. When all us racers came back down to are area we had a huge Christmas dinner and then we did some worship around the fire and had a talk then we had more food. After dessert i laid on the big rock with my friend and we had a really long talk while looking at the stars. Then to end are night we played a game called star tripping. It’s a pretty fun game, you should all play it. When I laid in bed that night I realized that I hadn’t cried that day or didn’t really think about home that much. I was so shocked that I didn’t cry or that I wasn’t upset. I know now that this is where I was suppose to be for Christmas 2014. I spent this christmas giving more then receiving and it felt good. To see how happy those kids where running into the chapel was something I will never forget. I also realized on Christmas that if jesus hadn’t been born I would have so much guilt built up in me for all the sin I’ve done and I wouldn’t have had such an amazing day to spend with my buddy and squad with out him being born. Jesus is a pretty amazing guy who continue to provide for us and show us how much he loves us and telling us that this trip is where he wants us.
As 2015 is just a few days away and I don’t feel so homesick anymore I’m glad that I decided to stay here and that I spent half of 2014 doing what God has called me to do. I miss all of you more then you know but I know that I’m suppose to stay here and keep doing this. I don’t know if i’ll have more rough months like December but if I do I know that I have God to trust that it will be all ok and I have all of you supporting me back home.
On Friday the squad is splitting up and going to different ministry sights. My team and two other teams are going to Manzine to do care point stuff and visit people in the hospital. Will be there till wee go to debrief and then off to Nicaragua for the last part of my trip. Thank you all for your prayers and support. I miss you all a ton and I surprisingly missed my moms burn cinnamon rolls this year ( i love you mom)
Oh by the way I saw a hippo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a fake one or a stuffed one, I saw a living breathing hippo. I gotta say it might have been the best day of my life. I didn’t get to touch it or ride it, but that’s ok. Maybe next time! Happy holidays.
