I think the book of Genesis is captivating. Stories of people who God has chosen; perfect, Holy, and without sin, to carry out the will of the Kingdom. But also human; covered in flesh, and filled with emotions. Time after time, the Lord will tell a person in Genesis about his whole life, the good things that will come. And just like the enemy does, he sets emotions in their way. He makes them think that they need more and he gives them a mindset of “I want it now!” Just like that, they fall into the trap of thinking one thing is good for them versus what the Lord has promised them will come.
I am guilty of this. I choose something that maybe the Lord doesn’t want me to do, even though the Father has promised me better things. He even gives us that freedom of choice. I can’t help but feel like my story is strangely similar to Abraham and Sarah.
[I think vulnerability is a gift. Not many people are okay with telling parts of their story. The part of my life that I am sharing with you is still fresh, but I know there is goodness to come in this next season of life. I have a sense that the Father wants me to share my story with you all, so here it goes.]
I remember sitting at World Race Training Camp and thinking, “I probably won’t do a program or work with Adventures after the race.” I wanted a simple life; come home, get engaged, and be married by that Fall. Which isn’t a bad choice to make but I was putting my God in a box and I shoved my dreams to where I couldn’t see them anymore. I allowed my emotions to overtake a false identity that I had put on myself. This was all I ever thought I would be, the stereotypical 23 year old, who fits the mold of where society tells her where she should be in life. Because I wanted those thing so badly, just like Abraham and Sarah, I took matters into my own hands of creating that life for myself, rather than trusting the Lord.
In the middle of my race, that “goal” was shattered. That relationship broken. The World Race was hard for me in multiple ways, but this was my breaking point, my pit.
Similar to Abraham and Sarah, my life got a little messy.
I think sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves as Christians to make the “right” choice. Are some choices better than others? Maybe. I do think, though, that even if we don’t make the “best” decision for ourselves (like my case), the Lord will still meet us in those decisions and show us His goodness. He did the same thing with Abraham.
The Lord didn’t have an ounce of anger towards me. He didn’t tell me I failed. He didn’t rub it in my face that another one of my relationships didn’t work out. He lovingly held me and showed me where I had misplaced my dreams and spoke words of affirmation over me. He showed me in the book of Genesis that I am not the only Child of His who had this story. I wasn’t alone and just because I took a detour on my adventure doesn’t mean that His promise is fleeting.
Which leads me to now. I asked myself the question a week ago, “How did I get here?” I laughed because I can’t even picture what my life would look like if I was planning a wedding right now!
The Father replaced my emotional want, for the plans that He had for my life: Building relationships with people, opening a coffee shop, starting the Fellowship, telling people about the Gospel of Grace and the Goodness of my Father.
Emotions ruled my life. They ruled my thoughts, my choices, and my identity. Feelings and emotions are valid, but they aren’t based on truth. Emotions, they put our God in a box, instead of letting Him rule our thoughts and mind.
I am so honored to be a Servant of the Lord and allowing His plans for my life to rule over what I think is best for me.
If you feel lead to give toward the Fellowship program that I am starting in a few weeks, click the “Donate” button in my blog!
In It For Good With Him,
Hope
