11 days in the village-we have internet once a week and I’ve had a total of 2 and a half chocolate cookies. Besides that, we have no chocolate or outside influences. It’s amazing how I miss skype talks with home and sweet treats…in that order of course. Actually, this week I have missed more than that. I’ve felt stripped of love and felt empty. I’ve struggled a lot this week on the inside and it’s shown in my attitude on the outside. The good news (and there’s always good news) is I’m waiting on the Lord to fill me up with a lot of my normal distractions out of the way.
I will tell you that this emotions business is messy. I’ve cried, been angry, been ugly, been happy and the mood tends to change from hour to hour. I feel like I’m in the struggle right now and it hurts….but at the same time I’m so glad that this difficulty is happening. I’m hopeful that big changes are starting to happen for me. I read the book Crazy Love a couple months ago and have been wrestling with the way I love God since then. I’m just nowhere near the relationship I want or what He wants with me. Actually, I got a chance to talk about this today in church when we were asked to give a few short talks 15 minutes before we were handed the microphones.
Things tend to change really quickly this year. Since I wrote the beginning of this blog a lot has changed. We are out of the village visiting a family in the city of Si Saket for a couple days and all of a sudden we have internet and a Swensen’s ice cream shop in our grasp. So, yeah, I’ve filled up on some chocolate ice cream, fresh lychee, and facebook in the last 4 hours, but my desire to be filled by the Lord is still the desire of my heart.
Regarding all the excitement in Bangkok, well, I just heard about it. We were there at the beginning of the month for about 4 days and we are supposed to go back in 12 days. Things were pretty quiet there at the beginning of the month, but obviously getting tense now. Maybe we will fly out of Cambodia instead and we will be able to swing by Angkor Wat on the way?!? I can hope, right?
Have a great week and thank you for sharing in my journey of heart this week! There are some pictures below showing how things look here.
Love,
Holly
Travelling….(we roll around with 13 people in a small pickup with a cab on the back)
Playing games…with the sweet girls of the village
Finally….our sleeping arrangement in Bangkok.
