I ran track for one season when I was in the 8th grade. I was a sprinter. If you have seen me run recently, you would see the hilarity and irony in that. (Just laugh because it’s true, please.)
One of the things you see when someone runs a race is that they don’t stop at the finish line. They run through the finish line and then slow to a walk.
Spiritual parallel time.
I ran hard this year. We all did. We ran over the finish line and I want to keep running, but once again. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. My plans aren’t possible. And I want to be angry and run away from the Lord like a child who doesn’t get their way, and to be honest with you, that’s exactly what I would have done 6 months ago let alone a year ago.
But right now is different. I don’t want to waste my time running away and trying to figure this crap out on my own, while the One who knows and has the plans has His arms wide open for me to run into.
I’m sitting at my dining room table in Sterling, Illinois and here is what I know.
I have no idea what the next step is, I don’t know where Im going to work or where to start in this whole process. I’ve never done this before.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has called me back to the Sauk Valley and I am supposed to be here. Not to be someone I’m not, but to be Holly Spatz and give away everything that I have to give.
Psalm 78:7 Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.
The same One who sat with me, showed me what was next for me and helped me to get here, is still faithful and will still provide for me and show me what’s next and when.
I spent the past 11 months with some of the most phenomenal people I have ever met. We travelled dirt roads, bought fruit from stands on the side of the road, prayed for miracles and blessings for others and each other, we worshipped together, lived together, and pushed each other to be more like Christ.
To say it’s an adjustment coming home, would be an understatement. But I unlike so many others had community to come back to.
My friends here love me, know me, and have fought for me every single step of the way this year. We have a lot to catch up on, and we have new things to learn about each other, but at least while in the midst of uncertainty, God let me have a little bit of familiar.
This feels like a jumbled mess, and to be fair, it probably is. I write what I feel and I am a jumbled mess, but with Jesus, there is beauty in it.
If you want to hear about my trip in more detail or pray for me specifically, get a hold of me. I would love to hear from you.
