The first night that I had sat down to have a quiet time in Haiti, I felt like I had been trying to avoid the Lord.
So I asked Him why.
He began revealing to me how in a way, I had reverted back to working to earn my worth, so when I hurt my hands and had to take a half day off, I felt weird.
I repented, and as we continued talking, the Lord began revealing to me how much I struggle with the concept of unconditional love. I understood I was loved, but I struggled knowing it was unconditional.
I realized there was more to my identity than I had paid attention too.
I realized how unworthy of love I felt, and how I still struggled in a lot of areas about who I was.
So, what did I do with it?
I pressed into God. I let Him dig out and reveal roots to me.
I asked God everyday who He says I am.
I would write it down and find someone everyday to read them to out loud while looking them in the eyes.
I may not have believed them yet, but I knew if I didn’t say them out loud, I wouldn’t think these things on my own or hear them necessarily.
In every day conversation, about two weeks after I had started this journey with the Lord, I was talking to one of my squad leaders and realized I genuinely began believing a couple of the things that God was telling me about who I am.
I had one of the people who I read these truths to, tell me how much my demeanor had changed since I started.
It’s cool to see how when we learn more about God, He teaches us more about ourselves.
Ephesians 1:11 in the message translation says “it’s in Christ we find out who we are and what we’re living for.”
John 8:31-32 NASB So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
I’m so pumped to dive into Costa Rica with a little more confidence in who the Lord made me and a little more confidence in who He is.
Thanks for following my journey and doing life with me as I travel the world. And thank you for staying with me as I learn more about God and more about myself.
