I had one of the toughest days on the Race last week. We were having morning prayer when a simple prayer request, and news story, came up that we’ve all heard; ISIS. A group notoriously persecuting Christians, my brothers and sisters around the world.
I broke down crying.
In my mind, at that moment, there was too much to pray for. Too many people hurting, my friends, family, children, elderly, countries, towns, cities; ya’ll just everyone I’ve met flew through my mind and I couldn’t handle it. The weight of the world felt like it was on my shoulders.
Lord I don’t know how you do all of this, take care of all your children at once!
Weeping I just didn’t know what I could do for everyone. My soul hurting so bad I can’t even pray for my brothers and sisters.
We’ve been to 10 countries and I’ve fallen in love in each country. That’s a lot of love. I’ve given a piece of my heart away in each place, plus my heart is still in America with the people I love there. When you love that hard let me tell you, you lose that much harder. Hearing about the struggles of the world effect me differently now; they’re real people and I’ve seen them.
There is an old hymn with these lyrics:
“Here I am Lord, is it I Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go Lord if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.”
This is something I prayed for at the beginning of this journey. I told the Lord I would go to these nations if He leads me. I went and now I am holding his people in my heart. Never did I think that last line would be so true. To love people so much, hold them in your heart, and eventually lose them as you leave for the next place. It’s so hard.
One thing I know, is that even through the pain the Lord is taking care of the one’s I love. He always gives me comfort and assures me I’m doing exactly what he has asked of me.
These are just some of the people my heart will always pray for and love. Believe me it’s hard to only share a few from such a long journey.
I’ll always love my family in Ohio
My Young Life girls in Indiana
My Ohio friends
The girls that loved and lived with me in the Cub House
The seniors in Guatemala
Isidro
My “Fiercely Rooted” family
Nica women praying for freedom
An unexpected new family
The swimming Filipino children
The random children with no clothes around the world, LOL
All the orphaned babies I’ve held
Pi Sri, who opened her home to 6 orphanes
My 6 new Thai siblings
Tina
Tedah
These sisters
Nepal
One of the most God centered men I know, Rueben.
Yashika, Yakish, Rabik
These angels
My best friend
Every child that has beat the odds stacked against them
Thomas
Everyone I’ve communicated with through language barriers
My hairdresser and more importantly my sister who knows all my struggles and helps me through them
My “26 Letter Redemption” family
Nosisa
This bundle of joy and tears
All of the children I’ve met that are HIV positive and full of love
This woman of God
These two….
Friends who have loved me in every moment, mood, and atitude
Plus these pretty ladies that are currently encouraging and loving me all the way to the end
