It’s about 8:30pm in Phuket and we are getting ready to head
to Patong to go to the bars. After spending the afternoon prayer walking the
city, napping and spending more time in prayer and worship, we’re ready (or at
least as ready as we can be) to walk down the dark streets of Patong. The music
is loud and the lights are flashing down every strip we walk. Women dance on
poles on the bars and hoards of men walk around laughing, on the prowl. Each
strip has a different feeling, housing different demons. The spiritual climate
is thick, and if you forget to put on the Armor of God, you will soon find
yourself falling under the weight of it all.
The first street I walked down is refered to as the Sea
Dragon. There are dozens of open bars in the center with closed bars on either
side. We avoid the closed bars (which hold live sex shows and games of the
perverted sort) and stick to the open bars, seeking to build relationships with
the bar girls. Typically, in the United States, bar girls are paid to keep
people happy, sell drinks and attract a crowd. In Patong, bar girls are
required to do these things, but only drink commission and prostitution provide
a paycheck. The drink commission is extremely low, though, making “male
customers” a priority. I have been told it costs 300 Baht (about $11 USD) to
claim a woman at the bar and 2000 to take her for the evening. Women can also
be purchased for the week so sex tourists on holiday can claim them for
themselves while they are in town. I have also been told that the bar girls can
have “boyfriends”- men who continue to pay them throughout the year. These men
have claim over their “girlfriend” whenever they come into town. It is all very
nauseating.
There are so many things that break my heart in Patong. The prostitution that so obviously occurs is heartbreaking, but more than that, the
details surrounding this business are extremely distressing. These women are
mostly in desperate situations and most have become numb or deceived to the
cruelty of this business. Many hate their jobs, but out of obligation to family
find themselves trapped in an industry that pays well financially but robs
their purity in body and soul.
Watching some of the bar girls awkwardly sit at the bar,
almost hoping not to have to do their job, is so demoralizing. Then to watch
them attempt to seduce a man (usually someone twice their age or more) or be
openly violated by men will simply tear your heart apart. Other women drink and
laugh and dance, but if you have a conversation with them you will quickly
learn they find no joy in their jobs, but laugh to cope. They are the visibly
strong and secretly distressed. I see myself in them. I think I would do
everything in my power to maintain an external appearance of indestructibility.
No man, no job, no circumstance can touch me. But under it all, there is
brokenness, a sense of violation and insignificance, which wears the soul and
creates a numbing wall of self-preservation.
The other deception that breaks my heart are the men walking
the strip and sitting lonely at the bars. Our contacts here tell us that the
suicide rate in Patong is very high since men will come to the city and in
their depression jump off hotel balconies. The reason they have come here (the
sex industry) is empty and when they realize this, their already empty lives
reach the point of no return and they end their own lives.
Watching the old men sit alone at the bars, paying beautiful
young women their daughter’s or granddaughter’s age to sleep with them is
extremely sad. They are so alone in the world they travel halfway around it to
pay someone to give them attention, affection, and what they process in their
minds as love.
These “sex tourists” (a term I had not heard of until being
in Patong) are not just old sad men, though. There are also groups of young
guys in their 20s who walk around as though they own the world and treat the
Thais, men and women alike, as lower beings. Thais are their slaves of fun and
that fun better be cheap. This kind of deception is also saddening and the
weight of it all fills the air as you walk through the bars.
We have been visiting two bars consistently and are
attempting to build relationships on the darkest street in the darkest open bar
in the area. The first bar we visited has about five girls my team (nicknamed
“team victory”) has really poured in to. We visit these women every evening,
play games with them, and ask them questions about their lives. Two of these
women I have gotten to know in the past few days and I already find myself falling
in love with them. For safety’s sake I will use fake names for them. Lisa is in
her early 30s and has a 10-year-old daughter living somewhere outside Bangkok
that she sends money to. She is one of the sweetest individuals I have ever met
and she is one of the girls who will sit shyly at the bars almost hoping not to
be noticed. You can see in her eyes the feelings of desperation and despair.
After three days of visiting her at the bars she hugs me like a long lost
friend and smiles widely whenever we walk down the street to see her. We play
games, share photos and stories of family and laugh a lot.
Another girl, we’ll call her Kim, is the other breed of bar
girl. She is extremely outgoing, laughing and joking all the time. But if you
catch her in a daze as she stares off, there is emptiness in her eyes and a
sadness hidden somewhere she cares not to share. She is extremely beautiful and
attracts a lot of customers. Thus, seeing her every night to continue the
relationship is difficult.
Both of these women, and a few more from that bar came to
the SHE center (where we are staying) for lunch last week. They were able to
see how SHE operates and the hope they can have of a life outside the bars. SHE
stands for “Self Help and Empower” and was founded by an incredible British
couple (Mark and Sharon) who love the Lord and follow Him wholeheartedly. SHE
provides occupations to women in the bars who want to get out. They make jewelry,
chocolates and are beginning to make cookies this next week. They also hold
Bible studies in the morning and small groups in the afternoons. Women do not
have to be Christians to become a part of SHE, but most, after hearing the hope
of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, come to know Him as their personal Lord and
Savior. Sharon estimates that about 98% of the women give their lives to the
Lord, a testimony proven continually to me as two women came to the Lord last
week and one the week before.
If the women need housing (a luxury the bars provide), they
are also allowed to stay at SHE for free. The goal is to empower these women to
overcome their past and provide for themselves and their families through an
occupation outside of prostitution. I am completely amazed by the work SHE is
accomplishing in Thailand and feel so blessed to be a part of the ministry.
There is so much work to be done yet, and building trust
with these women is not an easy task. They have been exploited by Westerners for
decades and breaking that disillusionment is difficult. We simply seek to love
them well, get to know them, and offer them hope from their desperate
situation. What a privilege and honor it is to be Jesus to them by loving them
to a saving hope! The streets of Patong are dark and distressing, but Jesus
brings hope to the nations — even in the darkest places.
(thanks to Taryn Mast for all the photography above… i haven’t taken any pictures in Thailand yet!!)
