The past couple of months I have been fighting change in my life pretty hard. I have been riddled with anger, despair, overwhelming sadness, brokenness, anxiety, confusion, and any other negative feeling you can think of.
“Change is a good thing”
“When one door closes another one opens”
“Change helps you grow”
I can cite all the right quotes about change and following this crazy path we call life…but in those moments of darkness and hurt it’s a lot harder to actually believe them. As great as change can be and as needed as change is…it’s still incredibly difficult.
I’ve spent many nights crying over something so foolish. I’ve been focusing on what was, and not what is. It’s made me crazy and caught up in my head believing a false truth. I’ve been allowing the lonely feeling of homesickness and being away at this time to control me.
I’ve been standing on the shore smacked down by one wave after another. Those waves are rough; let me tell you…but instead of continuing to get knocked down by each and every wave that comes my way, I’m learning to peacefully float. I am slowly accepting the change for what it is as it comes. I’m not just saying that I trust in The Lord, but I am learning what it means to fully trust that things will work out, as they should. It’s a lot easier said than done, but I’m slowly learning. With each new day I’m getting stronger. My faith and my strength have been tested…but I am overcoming it with the strength of The Lord as my shield. I’m still learning, and truthfully speaking it’s still far from easy.
When you meet a fold in your path, or a kink in the chain…it’s lonely, and it’s a dark dark place. The enemy will feed you the lies he wants you to believe in an attempt to keep you defeated by worry and fear. I want to encourage you in this: Don’t let this cycle continue.
Learn to reach out for help. Find someone trustworthy and wise to talk to. Pray. Meditate. Fast. Find peace in His presence.
Fight against it.
Don’t let the waves continue to knock you down…because trust me, they will.
