I heard month 6 would be the hardest, but in all honesty I thought the first month was the hardest. By the time month 6 would come around I figured this would all be a breeze. In some ways, yes month 1 was hard, but I still miss my boyfriend, my family, and my friends just as much as I did that first month.
Last night at dinner my team and I were talking about the “month 6 slump” and how it’s been easier than we all figured. I didn’t say too much in the conversation because it actually brought up feelings I had been convincing myself I didn’t have. I got home from dinner last night, and it all hit me. I am incredibly homesick. I absolutely love the work that I’m doing and the love I receive from the kids is overwhelming, but the emotions are still there.
Before I left for the race I only prepared myself for the ups…not the downs. I thought of all the amazing things I would get to see, the people I would get to love, the experience and how God would use me. I didn’t really entertain the idea of how lonely some nights would be even surrounded by 45 other people. I didn’t think about how this race would be incredibly hard giving up any sort of comforts for an entire year. I didn’t think how hard it would be to coordinate a skype date with a 13-hour time difference. That’s where my positive personality robs me. I focus on the positive and I rarely entertain the negative.
The race is hard. Despite what most pictures might show you, it’s far from a vacation. We get one day off a week to explore the area in which we are stationed but otherwise the days can be long.
Please don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love this year and this journey. What I get to be a part of this year is incredible, and I couldn’t be more excited to be a part of God’s work and his kingdom.
I can empathize with those who have chosen to go home early. It’s hard.
Even though this year is extremely uncomfortable, going home has never been an option for me. I’ve made this commitment and I have seen the rewards. God has proven that to me with his faithful provision of my funds. My growth isn’t over. I still have people to meet and hearts to touch. I see the obstacles and lonely nights as an opportunity for God to stretch me and fill me with strength. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but I know it’s going to be worth it.
Thank you to my family and friends for all of your support. You are all so incredibly encouraging and I appreciate every single text, email, facebook message, and skype call we share.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
