As I flip through my journal, I see my joys, desperate prayers, and all the truths that the Lord has been teaching me this year. He has been teaching me things about myself and the world He has created. He has been showing me His people and all the people He wants to run back to Him. He has been teaching me about His character and how I can be better at life as I draw Him into more parts of it.
But He has also been teaching me something specific, time and time again. And to be honest, I doubt Him all the time about it.
He has been teaching me about total dependance because I cannot do this whole World Race thing by myself. I can’t stay hydrated or joyful, healthy or kind, peaceful or loving without His help.
And I’m not even trying to give the “Christian” answer here.
I feel the need for Him daily as my comforter, savior, grace giver, and provider. Because every day I feel uncomfortable, unworthy, impatient, and fearful that my needs will go unfulfilled.
It’s funny because so often as Christians we can pray, “Lord I want to want you and need you more.”….Well, I have learned that if you remove the comfort in your life, you will quickly realize your need for Him.
Because I’m learning that if I don’t spend time with Him, I can lash out at a teammate with a short comment, worry if dinner will be edible, or find myself crying on the bathroom floor utterly defeated.
Through this, he is teaching me about total dependance. Dependance is something American’s do really poorly and is something that is used to keep us from the Lord.
The way we are able to service our needs in America can be doing a massive disservice to our hearts.
For example, water seems pretty basic, right? In America, we can get it from the faucet, the watercooler at work, or in a refrigerator at the gas station down the street.
But what about in India? What if we don’t even know where to find clean water, much less have the rupees to pay for it because an ATM is MIA.
In India, God showed me that He can supply us with water. Our hosts were in awe of the Lord’s provision over something that us Americans easily glance over. They told us that during our stay, we received an abundance of water. This was their first time in 10 years that water was delivered daily and that they never went without.
We can see that as a coincidence, but the truth of it is, is that I can’t say we had water because of easy access, enough funds, or even that the delivery service was reliable.
Receiving clean water was simply beyond our control. Since it can’t be in my own power or even our hosts power, it has to be the Lord working behind the scenes in miraculous ways.
Like I said before, I easily doubt God with this and I try to depend on myself because that is what the world has always taught me. But since I trust God with my eternity, I am going to choose to trust him with meeting my needs and believing the truth that He is our comforter, savior, grace giver, and provider.
