SMACK! My hands hit the glass of the Walmart sliding doors before they open, saving my face from glasses cracking into my nose. I guess this time I was marching too fast, too mission-fully and the sleepy motion detector hadn’t even responded, yet.
{whups.
}
Self-absorbed. Sometimes this describes me when I whiz through H-E-B for hot, fresh tortillas or worm through the aisles of Walmart for vinegar (where does one even start looking for that??). I weave through other shoppers, toss products into my cart, and in short time march onto the blacktop just to vanish into my car with a grim face and secret-agent-focus. (Ironically, I often prefer the self-serve lane…) Do I really think I’m the most important consumer, or that spending only 5 minutes in a megastore makes me a shopping ninja in others’ or my own eyes? “How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?” (John 5:44). Who gets glory from my behavior in the way I do mundane things?
I finally visited the dentist the other day, after more than a year. I love my teeth. When I got my first cavity, worry about my dental health propelled me into brushing and flossing after every meal and snack, until I discovered that aggressive care is a cause of gum recession (if you’re 21 and think your gums are invincible, like I used to, watch out). On this visit, I took the doc on a slightly frenzied tour of my teeth with all the contemporary signs of aging as well as the “historical markers” (hey, all y’all, is that only a Texas thing??). I thought I did a pretty solid job of introducing myself as someone who tries really hard to take quality care of their teeth; that’s a good thing when you’re meeting a dentist for the first time, right?? Except that I overheard him briefing the hygienist on my case before passing me on to her chair. “She’s OCD,” he hushedly informed her. And then she was standing before me and we were shaking hands. {Zoom in on that awkward family photo with all the girls sporting scrunchies, braces, and neon windbreakers throwing back to Heffalump… maybe not so fashionable ex postfacto.}
I tried to tell my hygienist about Jesus and the World Race, but that conversation was room-temperature root beer with melted vanilla ice cream and no carbonation. Driving away, with thankfulness for my teeth being healthy despite my laughable fears, I also felt a weighty UGH, with disappointment in myself. I ought to have reflected Jesus Christ as a light full of His love and peace to the dentist office workers: “‘You are the light of the world….let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven'” (Matthew 5:14-16). Instead, I showed people ME, OCD and WORRIED.
I’ve heard that dentists experience significant stress, yet I walked into that office expecting to be served and shoving my cavity-related emotional baggage on other people, hoping they’d take care of my needs and fears. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). I DESERVE MY LORD’S CORRECTION. Let me remember instead, next time or in similar situations, that God is full well able to take care of all my needs (Philippians 4:19), and that I need not be anxious about anything (Philippians 4:6-7). My role is to serve others and seek to bless them, not seek to be served: “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).
Texas Car Inspection. I had thought I was going to knock out this errand with a gleeful, “Home run, folks!” . . . Introducing Disappointment from the Dugout. FYI, Florida car insurance doesn’t suffice in order to even get the inspection in Texas, and my proof of appropriate state car insurance wasn’t printed, yet. “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky” (Philippians 2:14-15). FAIL… Well, I mean, I don’t think I grumbled out loud, but bad attitudes reek worse than baseball sweat, even if they’re not vocalized.
So, I showed up today to finish the job. Pass! I got in my car to drive away, but then I had a second thought and went back into the office. “What’s your name, sir?” “William.” “William, I’m sorry for my bad attitude yesterday. I wasn’t trying to take out my frustration on you–it wasn’t your fault–but I know that my attitude was unpleasant and I could have blessed you by being positive and hopeful instead. I was wrong. Will you forgive me, please?” Could you guess what happened? He smiled for the first time since I had interacted with him and apologized for being grumpy (it’s hot out, y’all–I get it, because my vehicle’s AC is malfunctioning (apparently that’s not a requirement to pass the inspection)). He explained with relieved eyes that sometimes people even threaten him and try to bust up and break things in his office. Who would have guessed?!
Dear Grown-ups, we teach our wee ones the Golden Rule, but sometimes we think we’re exempt from truly modeling it or ever having to say, “I’m sorry,” or ask for forgiveness from others when we break it with “minor” offenses because we’ve outgrown our diapers and braces. Sometimes we think, “It doesn’t matter,” and assume that it’s not worth the discomfort of saying we were wrong because it probably won’t change anyone’s life. But this is a lie! Keep doing good (Galatians 6:7-10), and confess it and apologize when you don’t quite get it right (James 5:16). It’s refreshing, like AC in Texas.
Feeling disheartened by imperfection {like me}? My great aunt pointed out that people have a hard time relating to anyone who appears to be super holy or perfect. “Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise—why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool—why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes….Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins” (Ecclesiastes 7:16-20). Praise God! Because there is always hope–He is able to use all things for His good purposes (Romans 8:28).
Father, thank You for drawing me into Your Kingdom and making me into a servant for Your Name–I am not worthy, yet You are so merciful and good to me! “For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake” (2 Corinthians 4:5). “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23-24). Father, I ask You to forgive me for failing to serve You (and others, in Your Name and in Your love), and for failing to represent You well. Thank You for renewing my hope when I fall, so that I am able to get up and keep going! I ask You to work in us, Your saints, to sensitize us to please You in every way. Amen!
