Time for my great aunt’s second knee replacement surgery. After wrapping her into a hospital linens burrito, joking that her allergy warning tags are strawberry and pineapple scratch-and-sniff bracelets, and praying together, we adopt one corner of the waiting room… and wait.
Good news!!! We scramble through the labyrinth, hushing to a halt in her recovery room. Staff dance with pill bottle maracas through the swirling lights, pulsing alarms, and wheeling walkers. By bedtime, the novelty has me exhausted; I crumple onto the visitor’s couch for the night.
The 6:00 a.m. meds arrive. I pretend to sleep, just like I did during the nurses’ visits throughout the night. The twisted covers nest around me in a silent lullaby, but I remember my aunt’s faithful habits. She needs help to get her Bible from the cabinet. Up! Yesterday’s jeans are still on, so I only have to coax my frizz into a ponytail. Yup—it’s time for coffee and Leviticus!
By early afternoon, guests arrive with lively conversation. I squint to stay awake… but imagine taking a lobster-cooking bath that could exfoliate and metamorphose this Grinch into a real human with TheBestNapEver afterwards. However, going home would mean inconveniencing others. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
My self-centeredness is ugly and in my face. Do everything without complaining. Just beyond my nose is my aunt, booby-trapped into her bed. A mechanical Chewbacca is hugging her lower leg and forcing her raw knee to rhythmically bend up and down. All toilet squats are supervised, and we can only hope morphine will take that pain level down from an 8 to something more tolerable. Complications nearly suffocated her following the surgery. Yet, she is very much alive, strumming her ukulele and singing praises to our King, joy and love shining in her eyes for her family, visitors, and the strangers wearing scrubs. What a testimony!
I see me, and I don’t like what I see. Tears threaten, and the conversation hums into the background as I stare at the manufactured grains in the bathroom door and time seems to freeze only for me. My jaw aches. How can I ever be like Jesus?? A soft peace envelopes my heart and almost whispers, “One choice at a time,” and Zechariah 4:6 makes a little more sense to me than it did before: “….’Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.”
So, I don’t have an excuse, I have a choice. I could focus on that gradually increasing smell that testifies of day two sweat and sleep and itches to be scrubbed away with a real toothbrush. Instead, I turn my back on those thoughts, smile, pick up my aunt’s ukulele, and learn how to play and sing Shout to the Lord.
And it’s worth it. Coming into the room, one of our precious CNAs responds to our friendly antics by opening up her life story to us. We share the Gospel with her and invite her to church, then my aunt leads us in a joyful ukulele concert of Little by Little. “Do you know where you will go when you die?” she asks. Our sweet CNA exclaims, “I started thinking about that two weeks ago when someone else asked me the same question!” And I know: our character matters more than our circumstances, for it bears our testimony of love, bringing great glory to our King when we love well with joyful and thankful hearts, especially in undesirable circumstances. What Paul says in Philippians 4:11: “….I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” convicts me afresh. Yet, God’s gentle mercy in still allowing me to join where He is already at work, orchestrating opportunities to draw people to Himself, brings me so much joy!
I have a choice. Regardless of my circumstances, I must take responsibility for how I think, speak, and behave. The Amplified paraphrase of Colossians 3:12 says, “So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper].” I bear Christ’s Name, and I yearn to represent Him well.
Father, please forgive me for my self-centeredness and sensitize me to Your Holy Spirit: “See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:24). Thank You for drawing people to You and inviting us to join You in Your work. I ask You to prepare the hearts and minds of the people You allow us to meet to accept and believe the truth. May Your will be done in assembling and preparing this team, that we may look out for the interests of Jesus Christ rather than our own. Lord, please make us and all Your workers bold and fruitful for Your Name!
