I’m a planner. Because of this, it has been difficult to live fully in the present as I am financially, emotionally, and spiritually preparing myself for the World Race. As I sit down to lesson plan or do grad school work or talk to my family, I find my mind wandering back to the world race. The reality of just how much I need to fundraise has hit me. The reality of leaving my family for 11 months is beginning to hit me. The reality of living in community and loving others as GOD would has hit me particularly hard lately.
I am SO excited to go explore God’s world and learn to love others better. What God is challening me with, though, is loving others right now. And, of course, not just the people it’s easy to love, but everyone. All of God’s children.
Too often lately I have let the stress creep up on me, robbing me of my patience, replacing excitement with anxiety. And when my excitement is replaced with anxiety–when I let the joy God has given me be replaced by fear– I do not love others the way I should be. I snap. I am impatient. I am not letting God’s love shine through me.
So while I am excited to PLAN for this amazing journey, I also want to live fully here in St. Louis these last 3 months. I want to love others well. I do not want to wait until September 1st for God to begin fully using me. I want God’s light to shine in me and through me.
My prayer: Continue challenging me, God. Challenge me to love. Challenge me to live fully in the present. Challenege me to live in the joy that is found in you.
