I am writing about my training camp experience almost a month later because I am a procrastinator. I live my life waiting till the last minute to do everything.
This is literally me.
I packed the night before training camp and didn’t think about it before because as soon as I did, I would start worrying. I was so nervous before training camp. I was unmotivated, I wasn’t excited, I was literally dreading training camp. I was worried I had made the wrong decision about switching Squads I was worried no one would like me, I was worried if I had packed enough clothes lol I was worried about everything!
I spent my first days in doubt and regretting the decision I had made about switching. Everyone seemed to have their own group of people and I felt pretty much like a loser which I had never felt. I have always been the outgoing, friendly person who made friends everywhere I went. My biggest fear of rejection seemed to be coming true. I went in this thinking I was going to get some sort of schedule of what was going to happen everyday, I GOT NOTHING! There I was, an ESTJ with no schedule feeling like a complete antisocial.
I felt like God was testing me. God was testing how much I trusted Him, He was testing my faith, He was testing my obedience. I felt like this was a challenge between my faith vs. my way
All week, I felt like each challenge, each sermon, was directed towards me. I felt like every single time I even began to doubt in God, He was like BAM with a huge confirmation. I felt so LOVED! I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in me like I have never felt before. I never cry, I’m the type of person who thought crying showed weakness. I cried more during that week then I have in years. I felt God healing me, healing everything I had been storing inside. All the pain, all the fear, all the doubt, all the rejection I had ever felt, was leaving me and being filled with LOVE. It was filled with a love that I had never felt before. I was filled with joy, peace, happiness and excitement.
The more I got to to know C Squad, the more I saw what a truly amazing group of loving people I had been blessed with. We all left a place where we were comfortable to become this new SUPER team. God has told us time and time again that something amazing is going to happen with this Squad for being bold, and I am SO excited and blessed to be a part of it.
My Team: Courageous Love
This the team I get to spend 11 months with. I am so excited to get to know these 6 people and see God grow in each of us. 
I went into training camp with every doubt and fear in the world and came out of it with every single one of those fears and doubts gone and filled with unconditional love. If this is what God does in a week, I cant wait to see what challenges and blessings He has for me in 11 months.
For any future racers reading this, I have a challenge for you. Bring every single one of your fears, worries, doubts, regrets, disappointments and abandonments to training camp. Bring them all. Nothing is too big for God. Nothing. Bring them all with the condition to be willing to give them all up to Him. Stop walking around with all of this baggage. God wants to carry it for you and free you from it!
xccxxc
