I knew this could happen. In fact, I was pretty certain it would. I was prepared. We made the plan that if and when I would not come home and I was fine with the plan. Well two days ago it happened. My precious Mawmaw went to be Jesus.
A little over a week ago she got very ill and her body began to shut down. The hospice nurse told my family it would be less than 24 hours. They called me and I got the opportunity to tell my grandmother how much I loved her. It was a sad moment. It was a moment I have experienced with 3 close loved ones in the last three years, my dad, my Pawpaw, and now my Mawmaw.
Grief is a funny thing. For me it never hits me the same way. Last week I cried as some of my teammates held me and prayed for me. Two days ago when it happened I didn’t really cry. After spending some time with Jesus processing it I finally did but not right away. This time it’s different being overseas while my family is hurting. I have always been in a different state when I get the news. But this time I’m not gathering my stuff and heading up the road. I’m staying here. There’s an ocean between us and it might as well be another world away.
My family is very close. This is the absolute longest I have ever been away from them and it probably be the longest time period I will ever spend away from them. We understand that life is precious and how quickly it can slip away.
But that is not the only thing I understand and have learned over the past three years. I have also experienced the absolute goodness of God in the middle of the valley. The truth is God is not impersonal and for that I am forever grateful. He weeps with His children and hears their every cry. He is as broken hearted over our loss as we are. HE IS GOOD AND FAITHFUL no matter the circumstance you find yourself in. EVEN THE HARD ONES!
Yesterday during my time with Jesus He just kept pouring over me the eagerness for the day when we will meet him face to face. My Mawmaw has already experienced that reality. There will come a day when there is no more death, no more sadness, no more sin, and we will worship our Savior in fullness forever. Even the greatest moment of your life will be nothing compared to what we will experience in heaven.
Every day of this journey I ask the Lord who can I show his love and to and share the gospel with. Our days are numbered, whether we live out this life and experience death or Jesus comes back before we die. It’s only a matter of time before we meet Jesus. I want everyone I come in contact with to have the opportunity to experience a relationship with Jesus and enjoy Heaven one day.
You may be grieving the loss of a loved one. You may find yourself in a hopeless situation. But I want you to know how much the Lord loves you and wants a relationship with you. Yes, I am grieving the loss of my precious Mawmaw. But I do not grieve as one without hope. She’s with Jesus living life as He intended us to live it. If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus I urge you to reach out to me or a believer you know and find out more about Jesus. Experience His goodness!
Thursday, my family will lay my sweet Mawmaw to rest and I will be here praying for their peace and comfort. I will forever remember how she loved God and our family. She was such a servant and her life will be remembered this way. Continue to pray for my family as they say goodbye and our squad as we continue on this journey. So for now I’m in Greece, my family is in the states, and she will forever be in heaven!
Love you forever Mawmaw!!! Rest in peace in the arms of Jesus! See you in Heaven!
