This is crazy!
This is nuts!
Life is changing before my eyes!
I don't like this feeling!
I will probably never see these people on earth again!
I hate that things will never be the same!
I am leaving something great….
These were a lot if my fleshly thoughts yesterday, it was my last day of work and I had such crazy emotions about it. It was my second to last FNF (Friday Night Fire a ministry for young adults that has impacted my life forever). It's almost my last full week of my life in Salisbury, MD. So many emotions are happening right now as I type and cry right now….
DADDY I NEED YOU! I NEED YOU PRESENCE STRONGER THAN EVER BEFORE! I NEED YOUR STRENGTH. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE ON MY OWN FLESHLY THOUGHTS! DADDY HELP!
Last night as we sang Beautiful Exchange Jesus smacked me with the reality that I have to leave my brothers and sister in Christ, leave my peaceful anointed home in Hebron, leave my Church, and its not a choice that I can think about anymore. If I am going to do this thing right if I am going to walk like Jesus walked I have to do this thing right. I am clenching to Your promise Daddy….
Matthew 19:29
I am letting go of control. When I was taking communion last night it finally clicked in the middle of listening to Beautiful Exchange and looking at the bread which is the body I mentally took communion for the beautiful exchange of bodies of communionty. I layed it at the alter and am trusting God and know that He has promised me A new chapter that is going to rock my world with a new body of community that will over succeed my expectations.
This next week is not going to be easy packing up my life, moving back home, letting go of the known to embrace the unknown. I am not scared by any means I have an amazing peace and excitement for my next chapter. However, I am a very sentimental person, I dive all in when it comes to life, relationships, and commitments. So needless to say this is not easy for me to let go and I believe The Lord is teaching me that lesson now so I won't be a complete wreck when we go to the next country and do this l over again.
Daddy teach me Your heart. Give me strength and wisdom to know how to handle these emotions and feelings. Open my eyes and ears to what You are showing me. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You for giving me these relationship, for blessing me with an outstanding community and their passion to live for You. Thank you for choosing me. Thank You for being beside me and holding my hand through this please help me not to forget that I am not alone and help me to feel Your presence always! I love You Daddy and thank you for this BEAUTIFUL EXCHANGE!
