As I am finishing out this last week of month 8 I have just gotten a reality check. I still have $1,500 yet to still raise to finish the race and when I get home will have little to no money to live on. I know The Lord will provide but these are things that at the near to end of the race you just can't stop thinking about or at least not me cause its reality and I'm a SJ/NJ (Myers-brigs.)
Questions that keep going through my head: Will I be able to get a job right away? Will I be able to visit family and friends? Will I be able to pay my school loans that I have? Does The Lord want me to do missions the rest of my life? Will I always have to rely on Him and others for income if that's the calling on my life?
Three months from now I will be back in the states and back to reality. I know that this trip is not over and that I shouldn't be worried about the end of the race but that is not how I am made. Three months before I left for the race I couldn't imagine what it would look like and I tried to figure it out (of course it is nothing that I could've imagine). So it is only natural of course three months before I get back to the states I'm going to do the same thing. I knew I had no control over what was going to happen this year and I know I have no control over what is going to happen next year. Ultimately I know The Lord is going to exceed my expectations like always however this is where I am at now.
This inconsistency has become consistent and I have even become accustomed to it. When I think about next year one side of me can't wait to get back to have a consistent life that I can schedule. However the other side of me never wants to go back to the mundaneness of life and forget this inconstancy. The many friends, relationships, the God encounters, the breath taking traveling, many forms of worship, so much more that I will miss.
So these are the many things that my mind is wondering with and I am trying to keep focused and not worry cause once again The Lord is in control. I just wanted to share with those that read my blogs where I am at financially and spiritually because this is very heavy on my heart.
Please keep me in your prayers and ask The Lord how to support me spiritually, financially, or however He leads you. Please tell a friend about me and my journey/blogs!!!! Forward my blogs and email and please ask them to pray as well (There is power in prayer) love you all!
