Our pasts have a way of always showing back up when we find it most inconvenient. As humans we tend to hold onto the pain of our past and I can speak for myself when I say my past has made me believe many lies while approaching my kingdom journey in the race.
Being volnurable I can tell you that I have felt
Unworthy
Ugly
Ashamed
Unqualified
Small
Broken
Judged
Confused And drowning in my past. But it is beautiful to remember God is still able to use us, no matter our history, no matter our past hurts, experiences and doubts. Through God we are able to grow from our experiences, susehare our stories and our brokenness to make things beautiful.
I was told an old story at church about a man who would walk to fill two pots with water. One was perfect and the other was cracked. The One that was perfect boasted about being able to provide, while the other was upset about only providing half the water gathered because if his cracks. One day the pot spoke to the man to apologize for him having to make more trips for water than he should have to, because of his brokenness. But the man replied in such grace, stating he has known of the cracks all along and instead of discarding the pot, he had filled the side of the road on which he carried it with seeds. So while walking by, the cracks in this pot that most people would consider as an inconvenience was actually used to water the seeds. This resulted in flowers blossoming and bringing beauty to the streets this man walked.
Here un Diabo, we were able to speak to a beautiful women that has a past that left scars so deep that it has been affecting her ability to return to church. She tells us about how she was struck with an illness many years ago she could not find a cure for. Here in Africa it is common to find “Shrine Priests” which is also known as witch craft. When she thought God was unable to help her, she strayed and turned to these individuals.
She told us how these people cut her body to “allow the medicine to seep directly into her body” My insides cringed at the images in my head and pain I felt as I looked her in the eye. How could someone inflict so much pain onto someone else who is desperate for help. She lifted her sleeves to reveal the abundance of raised scaring covering her arms. We were told the cuts were also made as a constand reminder of who helped heal her. My heart sank and broke as she talked about how she tried to re-enter the church, but was embarrassed, judged and felt unworthy due to her past decisions. Due to her scars, it was a sign to others that she was involved in witch craft, and her community was not accepting her. What do you say to someone who has been discouraged by the very people we are trying to encourage her to join.. the church!? But its Not the church who defines your life, it’s you and your ability to let Jesus take the wheel.
We all poured into her with encouragment to embrace her scars and experiences. How it shows so much strength in her and just how amazing God truly is to bring her above the idols and back to him! Her scars are beautiful and tell a story of redemption and love! Her story can help others, her scars show mercy and forgiveness. If God forgives, then so should the church!
It was an incredible opportunity to speak into someone the same lessons I myself needed to hear! As I approached her to pray (which, if you know me.. I don’t normally volunteer to pray out loud) my mind was racing, my words were scrambled.. I didn’t know how to make sure the right words came out… but again the Lord is mighty and provides. I left that prayer in tears. Not out of sadness but out of pure joy in recognizing that she may have the physical scars that hold her back but we all have scars that tear us down sometimes.
But they are beautiful!
My past and my scars are what shaped me into the person I am today and ultimately brought me to Jesus. Life is hard and full of challenges, but it’s not about what I am able to do with my pain but what I allow God to do THROUGH me with my brokenness. I may be spilling water on my journey due to my cracks, but I am so excited to see where God is going to use that spilt water to create something beautiful!!
He brought me to the World Race so that’s a start! I am learning to feel worth, qualified, beautiful, trust and so much more! I have learned so much and excited for how I will grow with Him and my team!
Please keep praying and following along my journey!
