Feb 19th
Alright, so I am on a 7 hour bus ride right now with 35 Jesus chasing, God loving beautiful people who chose to abandon everything they know back home… their families, friends and comfort zones to live out of a backpack for 11 months!! How amazing is that!?! I tend to forget sometimes how insane that sounds!
At the moment we are traveling to our next ministry host in a city called Sunyani in Ghana for our all squad month! The other day my team got to reunite in Accra Ghana with our whole squad for debrief. We spent a couple days processing what we just experienced and got to work with our leaders, talk with our peers about their months ministry and have fun relaxing and exploring our new country.
During debrief we had sessions throughout the long weekend together. One of them being an all girls day where we were asked to be really vulnerable with one another through sharing bits and pieces of our testimonies and life Experiences. How impactful and emotional this day was with all the ladies!! I woke up exhausted to say the least, emotionally, spiritually and physically… so i was not looking forward to this long ride and craziness that comes along with traveling with so many people.
The buses we have taken in the past month were not so glamorous, clean, or spacious..they felt like every little bump you hit you we’re going to go flying and smash your head, the type of bus that is blaring an African sitcom in French the whole ride, uncomfortably so that head phones can’t even drown it out. The type of bus that stops on the side of the road for “bathroom breaks” the type of bus that you squish in and have to hold all your belongings, some even standing or sitting in the isle. The smell of different foods and body odors. But the views outside the window are what keep me distracted, trying not to think of what surrounds me. It sure is beautiful here. Needless to say, these are the types of buses we will be taking all year long, so we honestly should just get used to it…except for todayyyy! Today we were surprised as the bus we will be taking pulled into the lot.
Here are some words and thoughts I had on this bus ride
Space
Recliner seats
Snacks
Friends
Jesus
Games
Gorgeous views
Stomach aches
Spoiled
Are we still in Africa???
Rest stops with food and clean bathrooms!!
BLESSED !!!
Everyone was extremely excited to have a little taste of home in Africa. On this bus ride I had trouble enjoying It at first. My mind was racing, my emotions were high. I felt extremely vulnerable after a weekend of processing. The emotions that you go through on the race are indescribable. You are constantly processing something new.. Whether it is something you have seen or learned here on the field or something you are working on from your past that you are trying to heal or grow from. So many raw emotions were processed, deepest secrets told and fears/doubts expressed. This left me feeling like people could now see right through me, I could no longer hide Behind a false mask. This is a terrifying feeling but also exhilarating. throughout This bus ride My list of great qualities quickly turned to negatives
My recliner is broken
I stained my shirt
I can’t sleep
A bag fell on my head from above
I felt unprepared
Comparison to others started to invade my thoughts
Nothing was going right!
I had to remind myself of the blessings I have been given, and not to stress the little things. I knew I had to snap out of it! The enemy tries to attack when your doing amazing things for the Lord and That is exactly what we are doing on the race.
As I sit sulking in my own pitty, I started reading my book “A Million Little Ways” and it reminded me that I need to accept the process that comes along with living a life for Jesus! i had no idea it would be so difficult But I have Come to learn today that a lot happens in transitions.. Beautiful, spirit-led, sacred shaping happens in the waiting. it doesn’t happen over night, there will be pain, struggles and mountains to climb along the way, but’s that’s why I joined this race in the first place… to grow in my relationship with the Lord and learn from my brokenness And how to use it to empower His Kingdom. His strength is made great in our weakness!
The ride won’t always be luxurious, you’ll hit bumps along the way that make you cringe, you’ll feel uncomfortable, but you’ll also grow, learn, heal and love unconditionally.. Everyone will feel defeated at times, but How beautiful it is to realize there is still movement in the waiting!!!
