Everyone is all packed and ready to go the night before. Were all celebrating wrapping up what seemed like a lifetime together and the excitement of hitting US soil in just a few short days. The feeling is so unreal, that feeling of losing something before it’s even gone. That feeling of accomplishment but sadness of it all disappearing right before your eyes. The fear of not knowing what’s waiting for you back home, the sinking feeling of never being able to live up to the standards I put on myself this last year. But the overall feeling of love, pursuit, encouragement, anticipation and adventure.
The next morning, I was up earlier than most. Finishing the last touches to my pack and making sure I left behind as much as I could to lighten my bags, I felt weird. It didn’t feel real. How could I leave without the others? Sadness overcame me as I said my last goodbyes… Instead of spending the last 48 hours with the squad, I would be greeted by a familiar face and heading out on a new adventure here in Honduras. Instead of finishing the race in Nicaragua, due to the unrest, AIM decided to send us to Honduras for final debrief and flights home. Instead of going right home, I will return to ministry that I have done over the last 3 years with my church from home. Our translator we used with my church and good friend Ernesto and I had been planning a weeks worth of ministry and activities to fill the extra time I would be staying on the field. Danielle, Kelly, Ernesto and I will be going back to an orphanage called My Little Lambs, an amazing organization called Eternal Family Project, and an all boys orphanage called Senderos!
We left Valle de Angeles and made our way to LL! We pulled up to the house and my heart sank. Am I really here?! Without the Rock Church? Without a plan? We walked down and I was greeted with gigantic hugs, smiles and excitement. I couldn’t wait to introduce my friends to these incredible kids! For them to see how ministry can truly be just loving on those in need of a little TLC! We played with bubbles, ate some lunch, created music, went down to a field to play some soccer, took loads of pictures and exchanged an abundance of smiles and laughs. To be able to just spend an afternoon with these kids meant the world to me.
Being gone for 11 months resulted in me missing out on the mission trip with my church, so being in Honduras to end the race didn’t feel right leaving without seeing the very kids that defined my passion for missions in the first place! My heart was full, and in awe at how much these kids have grown since the last time I saw them only a year and a half ago!
The next morning we woke up even earlier to chase after the sun on kayaks! We went out to watch the sunrise and absorb, meditate and embrace all Gods beauty! To think of all the sunrises and sunsets I have seen this last year around the world, I am beyond grateful for all He has given me. We laughed as a mini fish entered Kelly’s kayak uninvited, we sat in silence as we took it all in, we sang as we made our way down the stream, we reminisced good and hard times. Those couple of hours on the water provided so much peace and clarity as we prepare to embark on whatever God had planned for us that day!
We made our way to EFP and man was I excited. The girls here are so unbelievably smart, witty and so much fun! They all speak English so it was easy to communicate and share stories. It’s heartwarming when they remember your name and welcoming with so much love. These girls love visitors and loved my WR friends. We spend the morning and afternoon running around, playing games, climbing rocks, fireworks and dancing! They are full of so much energy and light. My heart continues to burst with Joy and love for this country.
We finally made it to San Pedro Sula that night and settled in for some relaxation. The hostel felt so homey and quiet! We had multiple beds to choose from but we stayed as close to one another as we could. Take in the last couple of days we had of tight community. The next day we went to Senderos. I hadn’t been there in a couple of years and man Had it changed. Most of the kids were gone, and it felt cold and lonely. The one area that was the same was where the special needs kids were. We spent the afternoon with them. I sat on the floor, wiped dirty mouths, held messy hands, sang and played ball. I got hit, spit on and clawed. But it was an incredible afternoon of loving on these boys! I had so much fun!! Some familiar faces, that I know didnt remember me but to see them so grown was remarkable.
I truly dislike seeing children grow up this way, I wish I could take them all home with me and provide for their every need. It breaks my heart as I yearn to reconnect with more people! As I entered the cafeteria area my mind returns to the first time I was there. The room filled with kids, games and extremely loud. As I sit down at a table, there are about 8 boys quietly eating their dinner and watching TV. The orphanage is being shut down, kids are being placed in different organizations, and I just felt a heavy weight as I walked through the empty space. What was happening here? We found out it was a boys birthday so we left and bought a cake to sing! Their faces brightened and filled with smiles as we celebrated! Good way to end the day!
The rest of our time in Honduras was relaxing. We hiked up to the old coca cola sign for the sunrise and then took a couple hour drive down to the beach. We hopped on a boat and sailed away to an island for a night of traditional foods, swimming, campfires and music. We were visitors on an island of indigenous people who welcomed us onto their land and were very hospitable. There was nothing on this island other than one small “restaurant” and a couple family homes. Thank goodness we had Ernie he was such a blessing for setting this up for us!
I woke up the next morning grateful for ending this incredible year in such a beautiful way.. a sunrise on a peaceful island. Even though sleep was rough, bugs were terrible and literally scared our bodies for days to come..the water was warm, the sun was shining and the company was amazing and soon to be gone. I had to take it all in as much as I could because I knew the inevitable was coming. Not only was I saying goodbye to Honduras a country I love, but I would have to say goodbye to people I have grown to love deeply. Two girls that have become family and a huge part of my growth this past year in my faith walk. And inevitably say goodbye to the lifestyle I had been living the last 11 months, I dont even want to imagine what life will look like back in NH in the snow.
We spent the morning cleaning up and soaking in the calm ocean before us. We piled in the boat and headed back for San Pedro Sula. When we got back we packed up our bags as small and as tight as we could. Trashing what we didnt need anymore or donating to Ernie and his ministry. We had one last dinner with our good friend who took great care of us and He drove us to the airport for our 2am flights back to the states. After our debacle with thinking we couldn’t leave the country due to our visas expiring [well Kelly was the only one who got stopped!] We headed for our last flight together to Florida. When we landed in Florida and had to go our separate ways, it didnt feel real. My heart raced as i said my goodbyes and walked my own way sobbing at the thought that this year is over.
But man was this year one for the books, unforgettable, undeniably life changing and extremely inspirational.
HOME! I get to be with my family again. I get to reunite with my church friends and family, I’ll be returning to the praise team and sharing my experiences with everyone who has followed my journey and also new people who haven’t heard about it, but need to! I am excited for what this next year has in store… but to say I’m not scared out of my wits for what is waiting for me at home would be a lie! Thank you all for everything you have done to help support me, encourage me and love on me this past year. It wasn’t possible without all of you and I pray that my kingdom journey brought a little more light and love into your lives as well, showing you what Jesus has done for me and through me to reach others!
Love to everyone I met this past year for helping shape me into the woman of God being sent home state side today! Blessings to all ?
Thank you Danielle and Kelly for adventuring with me and a huge shout out to Ernesto for being our 12 host of the year!
