At the end of last month, some of my teammates and I were talking with an alumni racer and an American missionary who now lives in Thailand. We were talking about how much we would miss Thailand and the hardships of leaving behind countries that we love so much. This was the first time on the race that I’ve felt truly sad about leaving. Like I said in a previous blog, I felt like Thailand was my country, the ministry, the hard work, living on the farm and our host family was simply amazing. This transition to a new country and new ministry was rough for me. I didn’t think I could love another country more than I loved Thailand.
Our ministry this month is living at an orphanage with 43 beautiful kids. What’s not to love and enjoy? Seriously being an extrovert and having kids around 24/7 is honestly a dream come true, but when we pulled up my heart still longed to be in Thailand. It was evening when we arrived to the orphanage, so we got settled in, ate dinner and headed off to bed. That night, I was frustrated at myself that I? wasn’t already loving it here. And from that first night, it took me several days to get out of my head and to finally start feeling happy. Those days were spent questioning and asking myself how can love it here when I didn’t want to be here? How can I love this place?
The first day we met with our host to go over what we would be doing and his expectations for us this month. He explained that he wanted us to teach the kids some English, help prepare the kids to lead Sunday morning worship and to help his wife learn to cook. These tasks didn’t seem too difficult, so naturally my brain was coming up with a daily routine that we could follow. Well little did I know the kids already had a schedule to fill most of their days, which would be leaving us with a lot of down time. After the fifth day living at the orphanage, I still felt like I didn’t want to be here. I am not a person who thrives when it comes to having down time, I am a “go-getter” type of person and like having something to do all hours of the day. Knowing this about myself, I created my own schedule, which was packed full of things to do during our down time.
My team and I are now spending our last week at the orphanage, and it’s great. I really do love it here. The kids are amazing, our host is great and my productive schedule is awesome. I realized at the end of last week that loving this place wasn’t going to happen unless I chose to love it here. Love is a choice, I have to choose to love just like I chose to love Thailand. I have to choose to love where I am and where God has me for this season. Sometimes it’s hard to choose love when I know that every place we travel, we’ll only spend a few short weeks there before moving to another country.
The thing about the World Race is that it’s short term. Yes, you might think 11 months is a long time, but when you look at the big picture it really is so short. Each month we spend the first few days traveling from one country to the next. Then once we’ve arrived at our ministry site we have two or three days getting to know our ministry host, their expectations and what the month will look like. Next, we dive into our first week. This week looks a little rough as we’re trying to figure out how to best do what was asked of us. Before we know it, we are in week two, we’ve gotten the hang of things and are we are starting to enjoy ministry. Soon after, week three is upon us, and we’ve perfected our schedule and have a pretty regular routine. Nevertheless, the month is over and we’re making arrangements for the next country.
Living like this for 11 months is and will continue to be very hard. I have to choose to love every place, every situation and trust what God has in store for me. Heading into our last week here, I’m really thankful that I decided to choose love and chose to be happy for this month where God has placed me. I love the kids and their joy and how no matter what I feel like they can make me laugh hysterically. I love being so far in the mountains where I can take long runs down the road and interact with local people and the dogs. I love the freedom that God has allowed me to have this month to rest, to bond with my teammates and to study His character.
I now know that my happiness and what I get from each country is a choice and I’m so excited to choose joy for the rest of my time on the Race. PEACE
XOXO
Heather
