I’ve been sick (or allergic to pollution) on and off for a month. It hasn’t been all bad, though. I’ve got the raspy voice of a lounge singer, a cough that stops conversations, and I don’t take up much space for sleeping because laying down is no longer optional. Haha. I even got the pleasure of visiting a doctor in an Indian hospital. 😉
The worst of this sickness hit me as we travelled to Varanasi. We had the pleasure of riding a 12 hour night train from Kolkata. There was six bunks per compartment, which meant I couldn’t sit up-right when all the bunks were folded down to keep from coughing. There just wasn’t the head-room.
Fortunately I found an unoccupied seat to cozy up with my journal and Bible. If I wasn’t going to get much sleep, than I might as well make some space for God and I to chat. Admittedly, I did have a little temper tantrum about being sick on the first “comfortable” train-ride of this journey. But that lasted all of ten minutes and then we got on with life. 🙂
As I sat there between coughing episodes – the vibration of the train shaking me – my thoughts led to a question: “What is Expedition?”
Me: “What is Your vision for Expedition, Papa?”
Papa-God: “My vision is for a team of people who love each other so well. A people whose selfishness has been dealt with to such a degree that their awareness of My heart for what surrounds them speaks louder than their own need. I will provide! I want My people to know My heart.”
Me: “What does Exped need to know about Your heart?
Papa-God: “There are pieces I want each person to experience individually – parts that need to be stewarded well so I can build on it. They can’t be forced on anyone either. This exchange only happens through love. As a whole – stop worrying so much about what you need, want, desire. Trust Me for those things, and let Me lead…even when I don’t necessarily give you a clear answer. Expedition is about what I bring…not what you do.”
I don’t claim to fully understand or clearly see what God has called this group of 36 people into. But I do know it is ground-breaking, life-changing, and necessary.
We are servants of Christ and He desires to entrust us with the mysteries that He will reveal. Will we prove faithful? Only God can judge this. And He will expose the motives of our hearts. (from 1 Corinthians 4:1-5)
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8
