Yesterday I had the opportunity to encourage and prophesy over a number of my teammates – encouraging them forward, and giving God space to meet them in a refreshing way. Sharing my gifting and history with God is one of my favourite ways to serve people.
By the time evening came, I knew I was in need of a big refill from God after pouring out so much during the day. I popped in my ear-buds, curled up in bed, and turned my focus fully over to God – thinking the nagging soreness in my throat would disappear with a good night’s sleep.
I’ve never suffered from allergies before. The constant exhaust-haze hanging in the air here seems to have worked its way into my nose, throat, and lungs. Even with two antihistamines – I couldn’t sleep. Anger began to rise in my chest and I sensed that something else may be going on.
“Come out onto the balcony with Me,” Papa-God whispered into my ear.
Tears were already stinging my eyes as I slipped off the top bunk and out into the warm night air. I curled myself into the balcony chair, staring blankly out at the city lights, deep pain clutching my chest.
“What do you want to say, Papa?” I asked.
“Just wait. Just sit with Me for a moment,” was His reply.
I waited – still feeling the burn of emotion.
I have been waiting for so long for promises to be fulfilled.
For God to complete the restoration He’s so carefully working out in my heart.
Waiting and trusting the One who has walked me through purifying fire, and resetting my heart to give and receive love again.
All I could do was sit there in His Presence and cry…
…angered by all that has been stolen from me…
…by the way the enemy was attacking me again with increasing force while I felt sick and weak and tired…
…thankful for how much stronger every trial has made me…
…counting the cost of what God’s called me to…
…grieving all I have willingly laid down just to have more of Him….
I must have more of Him.
This morning, I awoke still feeling heavy-heart-ed and sick….longing for the comfort only found inside God’s great arms. He pointed me towards Psalm 27, 130, and 127, saying, “Hang on a little longer. You are doing just fine. Just wait. Just wait. Just wait.”
“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)
All I know is that God has miraculously transformed me over the past 4+ years, and He is about to do something worth waiting for.
So here I sit – tired and sick…rooted in hope for the glorious revealing of ALL that God has promised me…for tonight, tomorrow, and in the months and years to come.
“With Him is full redemption.” (Psalm 130:7)
