I’m a “go” girl. Nose to the pavement, grind it out, do whatever it takes, you can sleep when you’re dead kind of girl. And, if I’m honest with you, I’ve often mentally condemned people who aren’t able to behave the same way. Too often, I’ve rolled my eyes and thought “Oh, come on! Just suck it up and make it work! It’s not that hard.” Recently, I was confronted with the sheer unhealthiness in that line of thinking and behaving.
Sitting in the cramped middle seat in the very back row of my flight last week, I opened my Kindle to begin my next suggested reading book for the World Race. By the third sentence of Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection”, I was convinced that she had written this book for me specifically. She shares about something called “wholehearted living — engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. Shifting our self-talk from “Come on! Suck it up and get it done. You truly can’t do ANYTHING right!” to “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” I was sold.
As the book progressed, she continued to explore the meaning of wholehearted living, the obstacles that we face in that journey and the tools and practices that must be consistently implemented in our lives to move toward authenticity and vulnerability.
I want that. I want to be a person who lives life with complete abandon — full of joy and surrender and desire to draw nearer to God. I want to approach each day with gratitude and joy. I want to be incredibly aware of the rhythms of my life and prioritize the healthy behaviors that allow me satisfaction and a sense of thriving.
It’s so counterintuitive though. My default is to be a “yes” girl who fills my life with things and activities and tasks. I’m scheduled from morning til night and efficient in my timing and accomplishments. I completely neglect rest and play until I utterly crash in a heap of Netflix binging and poor food choices. Or I spend time avoiding responsibility by losing myself deep in the trenches of Facebook or Pinterest. For the record, this is neither “rest” nor “play” but an activity that serves up huge helpings of guilt and insufficiency for so many reasons. In a life rhythm like this, I begin to hinge my worth on my busyness rather than recognizing my innate self-worth and filling my life and time with things that celebrate my gifts and bring out the best version of myself.
Setting goals is valuable and I must have good boundaries for myself to have some self-compassion and a reserve of grace.
I finished the book on my flight back home and felt a sense of urgency about figuring out the components of my healthiest life; my best self. I posed this question to myself and I urge you to answer it as well: What are the things that are important to my rhythm?
Here’s what I came up with for me:
Walks: being outside, moving, observing the world around me.
Music: new & old; upbeat, worshipful, soft and energizing — all are important for good space in my life.
Learning: reading, listening to teaching, studying, having space to challenge thoughts and ideas.
People: conversations, sharing stories, wrestling with ideas, encouraging.
Creativity: not just for purpose and outcome but just for the sake of the process; writing thoughts and stories and feelings without analyzing their merit or sufficiency; dressing in clothing that I enjoy and being unafraid of taking risks or trying something new; creating space that I enjoy abiding it: words & pictures & things to facilitate joy.
Eating: consuming food that I enjoy; having a plan and sticking with it; fueling my body with nutrients and healthful options and really enjoyingtreats that I have.
Rest: Sleeping well!Remembering that I am not better or more capable for existing on minimal rest and maximum caffeine. Setting good rest parameters and being ok with saying no. Realizing that I do not have to be accessible at all times and taking breaks from the internet and my phone.
Of course, my life rhythm also must include some obligatory things: work and chores and the typical to-do list items. Yet, after one week of being intentional about my best-self, I’ve found that when I practice the “chosen” components, the requirements don’t seem quite so difficult. Perhaps your ideal rhythm closely resembles mine or it may be incredibly different. Either way, this is not World Race specific. I believe that knowing ourselves, believing that we are enough and extending grace in our own lives starts to overflow into our treatment of others and that’s when we are really able to love one another well.
What are the components that are present in your life when you feel like the best version of yourself? What does your self-talk look like right now? Is there something in this busy season that you need to say “no” to?
