Ever since I first heard the term used, I pictured a missionary as someone who
Did not have a lot of money,
Lived permanently in foreign countries, typically in poverty stricken areas,
Was kind and loving to everyone,
And had a super faith.
You know, the person who never doubts, always gets an answer when they pray, everyone they pray for is healed, and they have every gift of the Spirit the Apostle Paul talks about.
The idea of a missionary seemed a bit mysterious and intangible to me… and to be honest, it still does.
Being a missionary seemed like the kind of calling only really ‘good’ Christians could have. It was something I was convinced I could never become because after about 10 years of trying to live this life as a Christian,
I still question if it really is God when I think I sense Him speaking.
Sometimes I just know that I know that I know God spoke, but more often than not, I’m just not entirely sure if it was Him or an idea I had in my head.
God doesn’t answer ALL of my prayers in ways I can understand.
He did not heal my friend or my aunt of cancer when I asked Him to do so.
He did not heal another friend’s eyesight when I prayed.
I’m grumpy when I’m tired or hungry and can be really mean when my feelings get hurt.
And up until recently, I was convinced God had abandoned me or that I wasn’t truly a Christian each time He would remain silent and all the exciting warm, fuzzy feelings of knowing God had become a distant memory.
Over the years, as I continued discovering what it means to call yourself a Christian, I discovered that people with a super faith are still mysterious beings I have never met. In fact, I’m not so sure they even exist. I have learned that missionaries do typically have zero money and must rely 100% on God to provide for every need. I have also learned that no one is kind and loving 100% of the time, that we all still fail to love God and love others with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength, every moment of every day, which is why we still always need the grace of God. And most of all, I have learned that God cannot ever be kept inside a box. His nature will never change, but His actions are unpredictable.
But, I still cannot wrap my head around what it means to be a missionary. I spent five months in a Discipleship Training School with Youth With A Mission (YWAM for short) where we went out weekly to the local mall and told people about Jesus and prayed for anyone with a need, but I did not feel like a missionary.
We ran a weekly youth program that was centered around sharing Jesus with the teens of the community, but I did not feel like a missionary then.
We took a week to hang out with high school graduates just serving them by making them pancakes and cleaning their hotel rooms. We shared the love of Jesus and prayed for any need these young adults had, but I still did not feel like a missionary.
The last part of this school was a two month mission trip to Mexico where all of our time was spent doing ministry. We spent time with orphans and the homeless. We went into prisons, played a part in the Mazatlan Carnival, we told everyone we met about the love of Jesus and prayed for anyone who wanted prayer and even then I did not feel like a missionary.
I kept wondering what it would look like if I were to become a missionary. How would I know I had become one? I am convinced God called me to go on this World Race, but I feel no more of a missionary than any other time in my life. Will this experience make me into a missionary?
I’m beginning to realize the answer to this question is ‘no’.
You see, as Christians, we are commanded to
“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you….”
Matthew 28:19
It would only be natural to assume a missionary must go, but what I am learning is that the going is not so much a location change as it is a purposeful change.
I have discovered that we are all missionaries when we seek to convince others of something we believe in whether it be if an Android Tablet is better than Apple’s iPad, whether or not Ford is better than Chevrolet, Justin Beiber really is the best male pop/rock star, an organic/ vegan diet is the best for optimal health or whether or not karma is real.
Some of us are more actively leaving our mark on this world, and others more passively, but we all have a message to proclaim. The life we live, the words we speak and the decisions we make proclaim a message. Everything we do and everything we do not do speaks of who we are and what we believe in. Everything we say and everything we do not say gives way to the core of who we are and what is important to us… and to what is of no value to us.
Because of how God has called us to live, all Christians are intended to take an active role in sharing the love and truth of Jesus Christ with each and every person we come in contact with. Whether it be to invite a sick tourist into your home so she can brush her teeth and change her clothes before sending her on her way with wipes, bags and Pepto-Bismol to help with the return trip home or, as a church, giving 50 people $30 of free gas. It could be as simple as paying a co-worker’s water bill or purchasing a month’s worth of groceries for a friend who has been struggling to make ends meet and then throwing in an extra $100 to help ease the struggle. It could be welcoming someone into your home for a meal who is struggling to find a family of friends or sponsoring a child who, without you, would not have enough food to eat or clean water to drink. It could be forgiving a debt you know the person cannot pay or even helping someone fix her lawn mower.
Being a missionary has little to do with leaving your home, but it has everything to do with changing your focus from one focused on serving and pleasing yourself, doing things you enjoy and avoiding the uncomfortable, to a focus that seeks to proclaim a message far greater than yourself by serving others and loving them as Jesus loves us, especially when it is difficult or uncomfortable.
So am I a missionary? I can now answer ‘yes’. BUT, up until this point I have been far more passive than actively seeking to show the world this Jesus who has come into my life and turned it upside down, leaving me forever changed. I now know that the World Race is not necessarily a launch into foreign missions, though I would not be opposed to the idea, but I do believe this is the next step on the journey of God teaching me what it means to know Him and follow Him and, as a result, I will continue to learn how to more actively share this Jesus Who is so precious to me.
