No one ever told me that being a Christian was easy, but they never told me it would be this difficult. From the outside looking in, life seems pretty easy for the 'Christians' around me. They all get together and worship on Sundays, give hugs, chat over coffee and donuts, encourage one another, quote scripture and talk about how great God is. I never see them struggle.
I didn’t know that when God revealed Himself to me in love and said "Come, follow Me," that He would lead me down this road.
I didn't know that the same God who said,
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
would also require me to lay down my rights, take up my cross and follow Him.
"And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)
When I left my job ten months ago because something was not right and I wanted to learn what God required of me, I learned that faith without works is dead.
"What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." (James 2:14-17)
I learned that if I clung too tightly to my conveniences, my desires, and my safety nets, that I would lose the life and adventure of knowing God.
"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 16:25)
So the past 10 months or so have been a journey of letting go. It has been a journey of learning to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Jesus. This journey has led me to do things that are outright crazy to the natural eye. No one in their right mind would make the decisions I have made over the past year unless God was leading them to do so. Either I am obeying God, or losing my mind. I would like to think I am obeying God, but sometimes I wonder if I heard Him correctly in the first place because now it is getting hard.
I’m doing my part to the best of my abilities, but I cannot see God doing His part… YET. I obey everything I can understand God to be asking of me but everything around me tells me that I’m going to fail and that God is not going to come through. My money is running out, I am still unemployed and by a miracle alone will I be able to go on this World Race.
I sometimes panic and wonder if I misunderstood or if I’m even really following and obeying Jesus. Then I remember how clearly God has led me to make each of the decisions I have made this past year and I am reminded of how clear the call was to go on this World Race. My heart stills and the excitement rises and the still small voice whispers deep within, “HOLD ON for your life! Don’t give up now!"
God DID speak. He HAS been leading me and He still IS leading me. The mountain seems too high and the need far outweighs my mind’s ability to logically work out the details, but that is when we hold on to God. It is easy to believe when there is no struggle, but when things get tough, that is when we trust; that is when our faith counts.
Jesus taught us to pray, “Father,… give us THIS DAY our daily bread…”
He also told us that God knows everything we need and that if we seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, everything we need will be given to us.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)
I have everything I need for today and that is enough. I do not yet have what I need for tomorrow, but tomorrow is not yet here. Praise God for giving us our daily bread, for today is all we have.
