Sometimes I wonder why I pray what I pray. There are two major prayers I have for this 11 month journey in addition to my desire to know God so much more:
The first is that God would teach me to love well and serve well. I want people to see Jesus in me. Jesus lived His life loving well and serving well and told us to follow in His footsteps so I want to learn to do the same.
The second is that God would bring me to a place where I can be content in all circumstances whether I am hot or cold, hungry or full, sick or in good health, rested or exhausted, pain free or in pain, lonely or surrounded by people I love and who love me in return. Regardless of my circumstances, I want to learn to live in contentment knowing the Lord is always, only good.
This is only my 17th day of The World Race, and the Lord has already begun to answer these two prayers of mine.
There is nothing like asking God to teach you to love well and then having Him throw you in head first to see how you do. I think I nearly failed the test, but my heart grew in the process. A teammate of mine, who I love dearly, and I had some tension for a few days. There was a significant misunderstanding and hurt feelings and nothing I did made things better. I did not want to keep loving when I was feeling the hurt myself, but the Lord stretched me to love beyond my feelings and to trust Him to do the work. The work is not finished. I still do not know how to love well, but this was a baby step. Next time will be easier, yet more difficult because I am sure the Lord will continue to stretch me beyond my limits, but thank God that He loves us too much to leave us as we are.
This next prayer is one I was convinced would take at least the entire 11 months for God to answer. Apparently, I am easily discontented. I have lots of opinions about what my team should purchase for our lunches. NO COOKIES and stop buying so many chips! (We eat chips every day by the way.) We are doing construction and need nutrition! I really didn't think I was so picky! Hah.
I arrived in Guatemala fully expecting to be blasted with heat at all times and dripping in sweat everywhere I went… and I was looking forward to this. There is not much I enjoy more than the warmth of the sun and there is not much I hate more than bitter cold and sure enough, there is more cold than heat. Sleeping in our tents all month didn't seem like it would be too difficult until we had nowhere indoors to go and I would wake up to my head freezing on a nightly basis.
I thought I would be okay not showering everyday until I discovered how filthy I would get every single day at my ministry site doing construction and clearing the land of weeds. My toes are lined in black and stained with dirt. I don't think they will get clean until next June when I can soak in a bath.
Despite all of this discomfort, the Lord is clearly doing a work in me. I do not typically have a bad attitude outwardly when my circumstances are less than desirable, but my heart often turns violently in my chest with annoyance. Then there was yesterday. There is no shelter at our ministry site with the exception of a smelly squatty potty. We put up one tarp for 14 people to cram under in case the rain comes during our ministry time. Yesterday, the rain came during that time. Our teams crammed under the tarp and I was near the edge with water spraying from the outside and dripping directly on me through the hole I happened to be standing under. This ice like rain was rapidly soaking through my thin clothing. I was cold… and wet. The cold wind was not helping. I was covered in dirt, especially my hands. They were absolutely filthy and needed to be scrubbed; water would not rinse the dirt off. My nails were black from the dirt they were hiding. Then we began our walk back to the bus stop while it continued to rain, but at a lighter rate and I was sliding around in mud as it smeared between my toes and under my feet within my sandals. I was thoroughly grossed out, but for the first time in my life, I was completely content. My heart remained content and I was able to enjoy where God had me in that moment just knowing He was with me. What a beautiful day! I am so thankful the Lord loves me enough to begin answering these prayers and do everything He needs to do in me so people can see His reflection in my life.
